A Michigander Grows in Brooklyn

A New Blog

2011-05-16T15:00:00.009-04:00

I haven't blogged in about 9 months, and I must say, I miss it. Writing (even an informal blog) helps me to process things and put ideas into perspective. I think one of the biggest drawbacks to being single and living alone is that there isn't someone always around to talk about the day-to-day things--no one to bounce things off of. I think that blogging helps to fill this need.

I have also made a pretty big transition this past year (the last 4 years have really stretched me) and I needed time to process all the changes. Part of it was I feared that there were some who would judge me for what I wrote--which only proves what a big transition occurred--why should I care what others may think of me or my writing? The other part was no wireless internet. Whatever the reasons, I didn't blog, and I want to start again.

However, I feel that A Michigander Grows in Brooklyn no longer identifies me. I mean, I no longer live in Brooklyn, or New York for that matter. So I had to choose a new blog name, something that I feel identifies me and my current lifestyle. And my common life theme, that keeps playing in my head, is that I am living my life backwards. So I'm starting a new blog, Living My Backward's Life. http://livingmybackwardslife.blogspot.com/

I hope you enjoy it. And if you don't, well, it's really just for me anyways.

Welcome to Bowlero Lounge!

2010-08-03T13:14:00.009-04:00

I had an interview Monday for an admin job in Royal Oak. I spent most of yesterday running an errand for my son, my time got cut close, so he ended up taking me to the interview and dropping me off. (Plus I still don't have a car so I'm a little more dependent upon others.) He still had an errand to run and thought I would be tied up longer than the 12 minutes I actually spent interviewing. (12 minutes may not have been enough time for her to evaluate me, but it definitely was enough time for me to know that I wouldn't want to work there!) We were to meet at the McDonald's Jr. said was at the end of the street.

So I leave the interview, walk down the street, and lo and behold, no McDonald's!
Me (on phone to Jr.): There's no McD's here.
Jr.: Oops! (I know he said this with a smile.) I guess it's about a mile down the road.
Me: How long until you get here? (It was about 90 outside.)
Jr.: I'm not sure.
Me: Well, I'm going to the bowling alley across the street to wait.

Which brings me to the Bowlero...The bowling alley lounge was air conditioned, and surprisingly crowded. All regulars. And me (who was referred to as new girl.) I felt like I took a step back about 20 years, when I wouldn't think it a bad thing to sit on a bar stool for a bit and talk to strangers who I would think of as friends. But a lot has changed for me.

It was quite an odd experience. I ordered a diet coke. I was introduced to the barmaid and the regulars sitting at the bar. And introduced to everyone else as they came into the bar. Every person knew every other person. It was like a little family. I was sung to. Really. Two of the regulars sang me 'Welcome to Bowlero' sung to a familiar tune that I can't remember now. I found them to be very friendly. But also a little sad.

As I'm writing this, I'm thinking fondly of how the people at that bar were their own community. And we all need a community. We all need to belong to something. But then I re-read the texts I sent to Jr. before he finally came to get me. They tell a different story...
"OMG come soon!"
"Ghetto with a capital G"
"Call me when you get here."
I guess I need to work on not being judgmental...

"Kate's Not Gay!"

2010-07-22T10:06:00.004-04:00

Last Saturday I'm having coffee with a friend, a guy I've known for about 10 years. It was the first time we've had to catch up since I moved back. It was great to see him. During our hours long conversation, he starts laughing, some might say giggling. A mutual acquaintance mentioned to him that she knew I was gay. He told me he laughed out loud and said, "Kate's Not Gay!"

What? Maybe that's the reason men aren't beating down the door to ask me out? Am I giving off some kind of 'gay vibe?' I mean to each his own, but I'm totally straight (and a good catch, in my opinion!) So I can either believe that men are just clueless or I'm giving off a vibe. Hmmm, I think I'll go with (and I'm using about 20 years of dating experience here) that men are clueless!

Biking To Church, Only 1 NDE

2010-07-21T22:19:00.004-04:00

NDE=Near Death Experience. Easy to come by when you ride your bike in the suburbs. I can not believe how careless drivers are with their cars. I rode my bike last night about 9 miles from my home to church. And had to be so alert it was unbelievable!

Okay, here's my NDE. I'm riding on the sidewalk down John R. towards Square Lake Rd. As I'm approaching an intersection, a street, at a fairly good pace, a woman drives up and across the crosswalk. She never even looks to her right, only her left. She's on her cell phone. I slam on my brakes and my bike skids out and I come within an inch of her car. I really wanted to hit her car, but since my bike would have been damaged, and because it wouldn't be the right thing to do, I didn't.

I yelled something like, 'hey, lady, watch out!' She still doesn't look at me--too busy with her cell phone conversation, probably--and I yelled something else like, 'you almost hit me! get off your cell phone!' She never acknowledged me, I'm not sure she ever saw me...scary.

Since I'm on a rant, I may as well finish with how to walk/jog/bike on a sidewalk--just some common sense things. So if you ever walk/jog/bike on a sidewalk, keep these things in mind. And if there's something I'm overlooking, please share your comments, I want to be a polite pedestrian/runner/biker.

Keep to your right. Don't have your ipod on so loud you can't hear someone yell at you. When you hear 'on your left' that means someone is behind you and going faster than you and is planning on passing you on your left--don't move to your left, just stay where you are. If there are three of you walking and you see a biker coming from the opposite direction, one of you should move. Really, just one. If your house has bushes that block the sidewalk, please trim them. When someone passes you and says, "thank you," it's ok, and even polite, to say "you're welcome."

To those few of you, and I do mean few, who let me pass in front of their car, waved me through, and the one guy who said, "you're welcome," THANK YOU for making my ride safer!

City of Troy, You Should Be Ashamed

2010-07-21T22:16:00.002-04:00

Yes, ashamed! Your sidewalks are in terrible shape. They end without warning. They're not smooth. Not easy to navigate when having to bike everywhere. Lord knows I wouldn't dare drive on the streets with the crazy MI drivers! So I am forced to use your sidewalks. But I'm not happy about it.

City of Royal Oak, It is a PLEASURE to ride your sidewalks and live in your fair city! Kudos!

Last Visit with My Father

2010-07-16T12:20:00.005-04:00

I am so often inspired by something I see, hear or read. This is not the first time I was moved to tears and to write after reading MOTPG. (Mom of the Perpetually Grounded. I'd insert a link to her blog, but you, my readers, should know I don't know how to do anything technical like that!)

The summer before I turned 40 (5 years ago, I can hardly believe the passing of time...) I took my very first vacation. Not the first vacation I've ever been on, but the first vacation I've ever been on for me. I went to Georgia for the weekend to learn how to climb trees at Tree Climbers International. (see above for link insert.) That was a great trip which sparked a new but ever-present hobby, but the connection it holds to this post is that I was out of town.

My Dad had been living with my sister for about two years before that summer, up until a few months when he went into a nursing home. Now nursing homes have a special memory to me, and it is not a good memory. My Great Grandmother was in a nursing home in Benton Harbor and when I was young, I don't know, 6 or 7 or 8, we used to be taken there to visit her. I really have no memories of my Great Grandmother other than her in a nursing home. She was an old woman who would yell out in German to us. She would say things to my Grandmother and she didn't recognize my Mother. For me, I just wanted to leave, but I also realized how important it was for my Mother and Grandmother to visit her. And my dear Great Aunt Dot (who I later learned was called Dot not because she wore polka dots, but because it was short for Dorothy. I still smile and am comforted by polka dots to this day because of her and my memory of her.)

So it was hard for me to see my Dad in a nursing home. And I didn't get the chance to visit him often there as he died soon after moving in. My son was away for the summer, interning at the White House. My son and Father were very close. I was a single parent and we lived the first twelve years of his life with my parents in the home I grew up in. (The first ten with both my parents, until my Mother died.) So they were close; there was a great relationship between my son and both of my parents. My son never had to see his Grandfather in a nursing home, and I think that was my Dad's plan. I don't know what it says on my Father's Death Certificate and what was the official cause of death, but for me it will always be that he just was too tired and he just gave up--It was just too hard for him to live.

So that brings me to my last visit with my Father. My son was away for the summer and I was about to go on my first vacation. I went to visit my Dad a few days before I left. I pulled the curtain closed on his semi-private room; I sat with him on his bed; I gave him a manicure. He was pretty much non-responsive, at least until I cut a nail too short... I read to him from the Bible. I still remember what passage. Psalm 51. I'm sure I was inspired to read that passage to him. I hope it gave him some relief, some peace. It remains one of my favorite Psalms, bringing me both peace and sadness when I read it. He died less than a week later when I was in Atlanta.

I know my Father is in Heaven along with my Mother. I look forward to seeing them both again one day. I will always remember the last visit with my Father. And I will remember the last gift my Father gave: not having my son have the memories of visiting his Grandfather in a nursing home.

Shutter Island

2010-07-14T15:11:00.004-04:00

Well, I'm just going to write this so others can read it. It's kind of a confession and I'm feel a little sick to my stomach as I type. I think Leo DiCaprio is a good actor. That's right. I THINK LEO DICAPRIO IS A GOOD ACTOR! He did a great job in Shutter Island, which I highly recommend.

Funny, I have always liked his movies, from Titanic, Catch Me If You Can, The Aviator, The Departed, What's Eating Gilbert Grape. I haven't seen a lot of them, I admit, but the ones I saw I thought were really good. And with Titanic, I really could not understand all the hoopla he received. I enjoyed the movie, and his character, but didn't picture him as a sex symbol. Thought he just happened to get the right part. But now I have to (swallow) take back my previous opinion. He may just have been a good actor all along.

So here's to you, Leonardo DiCaprio! Cheers!

Mermaid Parade

2010-07-13T18:38:00.007-04:00

Another post I started in June but for some reason, never posted...until now.

You may or may not know, but NYC is a city of Parades and Festivals. There is a street fair every weekend in the summer somewhere in the city. And more parades than you can count. Of course the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is popular. And there's the St. Patrick's Day Parade that is also quite popular. Then you have the Gay Pride Parade, Puerto Rican Festival and Parade, Halloween Parade, all many of you have heard of. (I've actually been to all of these parades/festivals except for one this past year; can you guess which one?)

Pic of me, Brad and Mike at the Macy's Parade 2009.

One you may not be familiar with is the Mermaid Parade. And that's where I was today. At Coney Island in Brooklyn, watching the most unusual parade I've ever heard of. (Or seen, and considering my first paragraph, that's pretty unusual!) The main street (Surf Ave.) is blocked off and hundreds of people dress in a variety of costumes. There are a lot of mermaids, of course, along with a variety of fish, sharks, seahorses, a man wearing a suit of used metro cards and his wife a dress of the same 'fabric,' octopuses, etc. There were also plenty of people who collaborated and came as a group. For example, there was 'Scarfish' some gangster looking mermaids and mermans holding a sign that read, "say hello to my little fish." Very clever.

The best part (the best part of all my city adventures) is the friends I went with. Kansas, his boyfriend, and his roommate. We were even joined by a girl from my church (who gets the credit for the photos.) How I'll miss the quirky events from NYC and how I already miss Kansas and James!

Check Out My New Wheels

2010-07-13T18:18:00.004-04:00

Yep, I'm back living the life of a 12 year old. My mode of transportation. Pretty fancy, huh?

Thanks to my future daughter-in-law for this picture. I left their house a week ago the same time they did. I could hear their laughter as they pulled next to me and snapped this action shot. Sometimes I think I can still hear their laughter...

Keys

2010-07-13T18:10:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I moved back to MI from NYC almost two weeks ago. I'm finally feeling adjusted. I must say that I'm more relaxed than I have been in probably years. There is so much that I want to write about, the transition, the move, things leading up to the move...But since I haven't posted in so long, I'm going to just start writing about what is happening now, and maybe at some point I'll get around to the past month or so.

So what I was thinking about today is, I have a keychain with three keys on it: One for the House I'm staying at with friends; One for my 10' Storage Unit in Rochester Hills that I never got rid of (good thing, because that's where most of my stuff is! Everything except two suitcases and a few plastic bins, some of which is with me, some which now resides with my son.); and One for my Bike lock.

I don't think I've ever had so few keys on a key chain before. And it feels pretty good, too!

Obedience

2010-06-21T11:47:00.011-04:00

Something clicked for me today. Something important. An answer to a question that I didn't remember asking. Or maybe I do remember the questions I posed to God many times over the last 3 years. Something like: "Why, God? Why am I being moved so far from my family? Why do I need to be in a place where I have no friends? Why this time, why this place?"

This morning, during my time with God, (Today is my first day of being unemployed, and I can't even explain how glorious it is to have nothing on my agenda and just spend as much time as I need to with him!) I was reading chapter three in 'Secrets of the Secret Place' to prepare for tonight's Bible Study. And a consistent theme arose. Obedience.

Suddenly, everything seemed to fit. Every lesson from the time I heard God tell me to move to NYC, through the confirmations I received that I was, indeed, supposed to move, to every lesson learned through painful experiences and joyful experiences, a need to rely on others but especially on God, the call that I was released from Communitas (the church plant from MI that I moved to NYC to start), my acceptance to Columbia University and the understanding that I can't go there if I don't live in NYC, to looking at pictures of my granddaughter on facebook and realizing that I will get to see her grow up in person.

Things I wanted to do; things I didn't want to do; exciting things; lonely times; happy times; new friends I can call family. I'm not sure how to articulate all the memories swirling around my head this morning. I have had the hardest three years of my life, and also the very best three years of my life. For the first time I was living my life for God, but also living my life for myself. Being such a young mother, from the time I was a child, my first concerns have been for my son and what would be best for him. Suddenly, I was able to live a life for myself.

I have gone through many trials and tribulations throughout my life, and I have always believed in Jesus, but I have not always (mostly) lived my life in a way that would be pleasing to him. But now, he has made his point. Or rather, I have understood his point! Above all, I must be obedient to what it is he wants. And although I have had ups and downs, I have been obedient. And I am so pleased that I have pleased God, that I am pleasing God.

I don't know what is in store for me next. I'm moving back to MI in 9 days. I don't have a job. I don't have a car. I have little savings. I don't have a place to call my own. But I do have a place to stay with friends. And I do have a bike. And I do have family and great friends. And I do have faith. And mostly I have the knowledge that I am being obedient, and that I want to continue to be obedient. And that makes me happy and gives me peace.

Supportive Couple

2010-06-05T22:56:00.002-04:00

So I had the opportunity to observe an unique couple this morning. It happened as I was on my way to my friend's apartment to attend a prayer walk. I transferred from the express train to the local train. I saw a stroller to my left, which in NYC means one of two possibilities. One, there is a person with a baby or, two, there is a homeless person with all their belongings. This was the second possibility, but instead of one homeless person it was a couple.

As I was happily listening to my ipod, I didn't quite notice them at first, or hear them, at least not for a few minutes. And then I heard her. She was yelling obscenities to a woman (who, apparently was fat, ugly and couldn't get a man) who I never saw. She was getting really mad. People started moving away from her to the other end of the train. The man with her was oblivious to anything that she was saying, and was quietly eating his sandwich.

And then she started to get quiet, and a sad look came upon her face. And she started to cry. And instantly the man with her started to comfort her with words as he draped his arm around her shoulder. "See, this is why I shouldn't be nice." (Of course, yelling obscenities to someone isn't what I would call being nice, but...) I didn't quite hear the words he spoke. But she had all of his attention.

It was very emotional and moving. Very raw. This is a tough city to live in. I am constantly exposed to people's pain in a way that it is on display for me. It's right there in front of you. In a matter of a few moments, I went from feeling disgust, annoyance, to a little envious of what that couple shared. I felt a few tears fall down my cheek. It's days like these that I think I'll never be the same. Hope that's true.

Friendship

2010-05-28T07:40:00.001-04:00

Of all the things I have struggled with since moving to New York, loneliness is at the top of the list. It's funny how I can live in such a busy city, constantly surrounded by people, and yet be lonely. So I have put finding friends at the top of my prayer list. (A man would be nice as well, but really friends are what I miss the most.)

Two weeks ago, my prayer was answered. Not how I thought it would be (which is how my prayers are often answered) with a new friendship with someone who lives in the city, but exactly how I needed it to be.

I received an email a few weeks ago from my high school friend's sister, who would be in town with a friend that coming weekend. She would be in the city on Friday, would I have time to meet? My answer was yes, I'd love to see her. Since I have been friends with Cherie for such a long time (really I hate to think it's been that many years since high school!) I know her whole family; mother, step-father, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents. And I knew right away that this was an answer to my prayer for friends.

On Friday after work, I met Carol and Olga at the corner of 43rd and 6th, where they were dropped off after their SITC bus tour. They were meeting her cousin for dinner later that night, so I had a little bit of time to catch up and show them around a bit. (I actually had a lot more time than we thought--her cousin works long hours in the financial district, and he's Colombian. And if you have ever heard the expression 'Colombian time' you know that it is always later than they say, in this case 2 hours later!) So I showed them Bryant Park and we had a cocktail at the bar in the park. And BTW, if you're young and single, that is the place to be on a Friday after work--the place was overfilling with men! And I think I saw Crosby from the TV show Parenthood. And since I have yet to see a famous person since moving here, I'm going to go with the thought that it was him!)

After the park, Olga invited me to dinner. Of course, I said yes! We walked up 5th Avenue, stopped in St. Patrick's cathedral, and went to Times Square on our way to the restaurant where we waited (Colombian time) for Enrique, Olga's cousin. We had great Sangrias, a charming and good looking Latin waiter (Enrique taught me how to flirt with a Latin man--evidently you just have to say "Poppy" at the end of your sentence!), fabulous food (I think our dinner was served about 10pm) and so much laughter. Carol and Olga are such nice women and so fun that I thoroughly enjoyed myself. And I was reminded again to appreciate the moment that was right in front of me instead of wishing for something else. Prayer: Check. Prayer Answered: Check.

The Divine Ms. M. (and I don't mean Bette Midler)

2010-05-28T07:08:00.006-04:00

I have had the greatest opportunity and experience the last 10 months or so, and the miracle is that I actually see it as such. What started out as what felt like my world crashing in around me has turned out to be a deeper healing of my spirit than I would have thought possible.

Back in August, I attended my monthly Women's Prayer Breakfast. I love these gatherings where I can be with women of different ages in different stages of faith. I always learn something and I always walk away feeling so complete and full. This particular day, during the meeting time, I completely lost it. I started crying and couldn't stop. The women present gathered about me, laid hands on me, and prayed for me. And Ms. M. reached out to me, and I accepted her help. And from that day on, I had a mentor.

There is so much that I could say about the many things I have learned since that morning: the healing I've experienced; that I don't have to live my future defined by my past; how to be vulnerable and trust another human being. But what I mostly want to talk about is Ms. M. and how she loved me.

Each week she set aside a day for us to meet. I would come straight from working in the Bronx to her place in Manhattan, then home to Brooklyn. Ms. M. told me not to worry about dinner, she would prepare something for me. Every week those first few months she cooked for me. I have never had someone take the time to prepare meals for me like that. (Of course, my parents made me thousands of meals, but it was more just a chore for them instead of them being able to show their love for me by cooking for me. Sadly, this is how I prepared most of my son's meals too--out of necessity or obligation rather than an opportunity to love on him.) She was consistent, and giving, and I learned to accept her kindness.

After dinner we would pray and talk and listen. I would journal throughout the week and share what I wrote with her. She instructed, guided, corrected and showed me a new way to live. In the beginning I would be so emotionally drained after our 'sessions' that I could hardly make it home--it was exhausting work. And so Ms. M. told me (yes, told me, since I had a hard time accepting any kindness) to bring clothes with me and to spend the night. So I did for many weeks.

And things got better for me. I learned so much. I learned how to rely on God no matter what. Today, I have a deeper relationship with Jesus than I ever have before. I am still learning, still growing. I continue to be inspired by Ms. M's faith and perseverance. I can never express in words what she means to me or how much gratitude I have for her friendship. I can only hope that one day I am able to do for another young woman what the Divine Ms. M. has done for me. And I think that's the best way to honor her.

Secret Talents

2010-05-27T01:10:00.007-04:00

So I believe that we all have a secret talent. Most of us don't know what ours is. I know mine. This idea of a secret talent was introduced to me several years ago by my friend DH. Hers is finding things. A pretty useful secret talent, if you ask me.

Mine? Not so useful. And until this past month, it's never caused me any trouble either. It's finding four leaf clovers. Seriously. I've found hundreds of them in my life. Nothing more relaxing than sitting in a clover patch, searching for four leaf clovers. Really, I do find it relaxing.

But to the trouble part. I walk a pretty dangerous path on my way to work. There's a little curb next to the street with a raised brick flower bed I balance and walk across from the train to a shortcut tunnel. (And who doesn't like to use a shortcut on their way to work?) So this morning I'm walking and balancing and I notice a great big patch of clover. Of course, my secret talent takes over and I start to look for a four leaf clover. I lose my balance, fall in the street, and my backpack (which was pretty loaded with stuff and was heavy) kind of rolls me over on my side a little.

Well, I'm feeling pretty stupid. And clumsy. And luckily not too injured. A guy in a car asks out his window, 'Miss, you okay?' 'I'm fine,' I reply. After all, it's only my pride that hurts. I limp away, head to my office, detour to the ladies where I wash the dirt and pieces of gravel off my legs and think, 'that's the second time this month I tripped and fell in the road while looking at clovers.' Yep, I have a dangerous talent.

Luckily, I have a second secret talent, or maybe it's more of an ability. I have freakishly small wrists and can reach very small spaces. Ahhh, now that's a useful talent!

Okay, this is only a three leaf clover her daddy is handing her, but you can't fault me for throwing up a picture of the grandbaby now, can you?

Friends and Lovers

2010-05-24T00:33:00.012-04:00

I can't help but to think that there's something inherently wrong with me. I have a difficult time making friends, I think I always have. And I am apparently repulsive to the opposite sex. I don't really know why. I have been questioning lately if my problem with forming new relationships is because I have a history of being rejected in my past. And I carry that baggage with me even when I don't want to. And how do I remedy this problem? I reject others first so they can't reject me. Well, that's unhealthy, but definitely true. But to what degree do I do this? Evidently enough to keep me from making new friends.

Isn't there part of me who just wants to be liked anyways? There is. I want someone to recognize that part of me that is still willing to give my heart away. To be vulnerable. To care, to love, to laugh. Can that part even be seen any longer? I think maybe it can't. And that saddens me to my core. And it's a shame. I am Loyal. And True. Aren't those great attributes to have in a lover or a friend? I think so.

I heard, not audibly, but I definitely felt God telling me last week that I don't have to stay in NYC. Not forever, anyway. Doesn't mean I can leave now, in fact, I don't know when I can leave. But it is the first time I have heard or felt that this move wasn't permanent. And that brought such joy to me that I could hardly contain myself. Even 'The Situation' couldn't keep me from being happy!

But now I'm thinking, what is in store for me when I go back to MI? Whenever that happens, I'll have to start over. Again. I will be happy to be around people who I genuinely like and who genuinely like me. (Here I love and am loved, but liked? Like is a strong word in my book.) My family. My friends. But how often did I get to see my friends when I lived there? My closest friends lived far away. And how would things change if I moved back? Was the purpose of me coming to NYC so that I would never live the same way again? Because I don't think I will. I don't think I can. Maybe it's simply fear that keeps me thinking about the future and the past, and what keeps me from staying in the present. And what is fear but lack of faith?

It's late. I'm tired. I'm sad. I can't sleep. (At least I finally quit sobbing--I'm sure my neighbor is pleased about that!) And it has a lot of 'ifs.' So I probably shouldn't post this. But, as Joel in Risky Business said, 'sometimes, you just gotta say...'

Inspiring Acts of Kindness

2010-05-23T23:35:00.009-04:00

At my church gathering on Sundays, we take time in the beginning to share stories of how we were 'the church' the previous week. We believe that the building we meet in is just a building (and in fact, we meet in a public school auditorium!) and each of us has the responsibility (and privilege) of representing Jesus to others by being 'the church.'

I always find it inspiring to hear others talk. And I hardly ever feel that when I do something during the week and share it that it is a 'big deal.' But I think I'm wrong. I think these small things ARE a big deal. I had a story to share this morning, but since I was in the back of the room, (yeah, I'll go with that being the reason I wasn't called on) I didn't have a chance to share it. And then I read this Blog: momoftheperpetuallygrounded.blogspot.com Look for the post: A Great Small Kindness (I apologize I don't know how to insert links!) And I was inspired to share, as I hope you all are as well.

This morning on my way to church, as I was getting off the 3 train to transfer to the L, I walked past a man who was obviously in a panic. He started taking things out of his bag, setting them on the floor, muttering and looking all flustered. I walked right past him. And then I stopped and turned around. And walked back to him and asked him if he needed help.

He explained that he had left his wallet on the train. And he started kind of pacing, not knowing what to do next. He was going to wait for the next train. I told him that he should go to the attendant to let them know. It seemed like the reasonable thing to do. He followed me up the steps, but then wandered away. I let the attendant know what happened, and then the man came back and finally spoke to the attendant himself. I figured he was ok and continued on my way. And then I heard the MTA worker ask, what train was it? And he was flustered and pacing again. So I yelled back, it was the 3, and he repeated it and was much calmer. And I continued to my transfer.

So you may be wondering now, what did I really do? But I know there have been times, many times, in my life where I just couldn't see what was right in front of me. And I was so grateful when someone just told me what I needed to do. When we're panicked, we often don't think of the next right thing. Wouldn't it be nice to know that there would always be someone there to help us until we could regain control? Anyway, I think so. And I hope you do, too.

Prospect Park

2010-05-09T21:37:00.004-04:00

This afternoon was wonderful! I got to spend it with two very special young ladies, Miss A and Miss O. They are the 10 and almost 8 year old daughters of my friends. I have been trying to arrange a day to take the girls to the park to roller blade. Turns out today was a good day. And it was a good day.

I went home with them after church, packed up a backpack with some snacks and a blanket, put on our roller blades, and off we went! Here is our afternoon in highlights: three block skate to the park; skated up a little hill to their tree fort; adventure; more skating to a grassy area where we picnicked under a maple tree; laughter; tree climbing and rolling down a hill; playing in a gazebo; walking on bridge; duck watching; waterfalls; audubon center; wonder; snake holding; boat watching; secret tree fort; skating back home. Whew!

And to finish the afternoon with dinner at a very good italian restaurant with the girls and their parents, with an eclectic waitress/owner, and I must admit, it was a very good day indeed!

I feel especially blessed that although I didn't get to spend Mother's Day with my son and his family, I did get to spend it with these two incredible girls! And it is always a treat for me to see how their parents work together to correct them, teach the girls lessons, and model the behavior they expect from them in a loving, Christian way. I love you Kellys!

Happy Mother's Day to Me!

2010-05-09T20:57:00.007-04:00

And Happy Mother's Day to any and all mothers reading this blog!

My day started typical NY fashion for a holiday...alone. I had a couple of emails and texts from a few friends & family wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. Nice. And as I was getting ready to walk out the door to head to church, (which is an hour away and getting harder and harder to get to on Sundays) my #1 called to wish me Happy Mother's Day. Very Nice. And did I get the flowers? Huh? No, I did not get the flowers. Seems he & soon to be daughter-in-law sent me a bouquet--should have been delivered on Saturday.

What they didn't realize is, in order for me to get a delivery, I have to be home. And home to me is a tiny, tiny studio--not a place you'd want to spend a Saturday. And, of course, I'd have to know to expect a delivery--kind of hard when somebody is trying to surprise you with a gift!

I live in an apartment building with about 70 other tenants. There's no doorman. I'd be paying a lot more in rent to live in a doorman building. Definitely something I'd like, but not possible for me financially at this point. So, no one to take a package for me. I only know one of my neighbors (just met two more due to The Incident, so don't think I'll be asking favors of them) but have no idea what her schedule is like. So, no way to get an unexpected (but Welcomed) package.

Incidentally, I can't even get mail that won't fit in my little mail slot. At Christmas a friend of mine sent me a package, a package that was much too big for my letter-sized slot. So the postman gave me a postcard to come to the post office. Lucky for me, the post office is just down the street! What Luck! And the hours of operation? Monday - Friday, 9am-5pm. Huh? Not even open until 6pm or half days on Saturdays? Nope. I needed to go into work late just to be able to pick up my package. So anything important or larger than a standard sized envelope I have sent to my friend's in midtown who DO have a doorman.

And then I thought, wow, another way NYC is harder than good ol' Michigan. If I was in Michigan, they'd either drop off the package at a neighbors or leave it on my porch. And I'd get it when I got home. Here I get a call from the delivery guy today asking, 'Are you home? I'm trying to deliver flowers.' 'No,' I say. 'Ok,' says delivery guy. 'I'll have the florist call you on Monday to arrange a delivery.' Don't know how that's going to work out. Maybe they'll deliver before 8:30am when I leave for work. Or after 9:45pm when I get home. Or probably, NY style, I'll have to take some time off work to get them. And I will if I need to. It's been too long since I've had flowers, and way too long since I've had flowers delivered!

As for the rest of my day, see Prospect Park post.

And kids: Thank You! Thank you for remembering me on Mother's Day and for knowing that I love flowers. I'm sure they're beautiful!

Personal Hygiene

2010-05-05T01:38:00.010-04:00

There are some days when I am just plain grossed out by what I see on trains, buses, walking around town, or even sitting in my office.

Today one of my fellow straphangers decided it was in good taste to clip his nails on the train. Yep.

Not a day goes by where I don't see someone pick their nose or their ears. And yes, I have seen adults, adults mind you not children (ok, not just children) then proceed to put their finger in their mouth. I once sat next to a guy who after picking his nose rolled his booger around in his fingers. I decided to free up my seat and move far away from him.

And then the thing that really grosses me out the most--probably because it is the most common--spitting. I seriously have to watch where I step or I'd be stepping in people's phlegm every tenth step! Also, all kinds of noises apparently are necessary to spit. So, this one day, I'm in my office finishing up lunch, and a guy is spitting/throwing up in the trash can outside my office. It was disgusting! I lost my appetite. And had a hard time not throwing up myself. (Unfortunately it was the day I decided to eat Taco Bell too!)

So here's a little advice to public spitters, nose pickers, ear wax eaters and public nail clippers: STOP! YOU ARE NOT INVISIBLE! I CAN SEE YOU AND SO CAN EVERYONE ELSE! PLEASE DO THESE THINGS IN PRIVATE!

Thank you very much. (Read this in Andy Kaufman voice of Latka.)

It's Official

2010-05-02T20:47:00.000-04:00

It's official! I'm a New Yorker! How do I know? Is it by the way I can walk by a homeless person and not 'see' them? Push my way onto a subway car? Because I stand on line and not in line? Get my food to stay instead of for here?

No, because I now have NY State Driver's License! Woo hoo, check out that picture! True to form, it looks awful. And I'm not even going to start about my trip to the DMV! Only advice I have is give yourself at least two hours--and bring a book and your own pen!

Oh, and I'm registered to vote, too!

A Cab Ride Home

2010-04-28T00:20:00.002-04:00

I have such a wonderful small group. This weekend I hurt my foot and have been having a hard time walking. Not exactly great when considering I walk at least a mile a day just to and from work! (Went to the podiatrist today and discovered it is a heel spur--rest, stretching, icing, $40 inserts, Yes, $40 inserts until I can get the $495 custom ones, oh, and a shot of cortisone, and I'll hopefully be right as rain!) So as I'm leaving Bible study, what do they do? They gave me money and put in a cab so I didn't have to walk! How sweet is that?

Alas, it will probably be my last cab ride home. It cost $17.50 for the ride! I need to either make more money or find more friends closer to home!

Insecurity

2010-04-24T21:15:00.009-04:00

My day started like many of my days lately. I awoke before my alarm went off, feeling tired and not wanting to get out of bed. But I did something different: I got up without hitting my snooze. I had time to make my lunch and do my hair. And I did something else different and new: I went to a Bible church in Inwood (The upper tip of Manhattan) to watch a simulcast of Beth Moore with a couple of friends.

The simulcast focused on Beth Moore's new book, So Long Insecurity, you've been a bad friend to us. This is the first Beth Moore book I have read. (Well, mostly read...do to the situation, I still have about a quarter of the book to finish.) The first time I've heard her speak too. And I must say, I would watch her again and again! God is absolutely using her to reach women!

I have struggled with insecurity my whole life. It has affected so many decisions I have made (and so many more that I haven't made) than I even care to think about. So many of my thoughts and beliefs have been with me for so long, that I don't even recognize that they are NOT true. I believe them all the same. Since making a choice and deciding to follow Christ, my security should be found only in Him. And that is a true, biblical statement. But still I struggle with believing that truth.

So what did I learn today that will help me break this pattern of insecurity? That nothing can hold us back like if we don't believe that we're forgiven. And I don't, at least not always. That this battle is won in our minds. And we can take our thoughts captive to Christ and be triumphant. That we can not wait until we feel secure to act. We must take that step, do something different, ask ourselves 'how would a secure woman respond?'

But the thing that hit me the most was to put off my old self and put on my new self. (Read Ephesians 4:1 - 5:2.) It's a choice. And I can give myself permission to do things differently. I can freely say, "That was the old me, this is the new me." (Even if the old me was yesterday.) I can change. I can allow God to change me.

So my hope is that from here on out, all my days will start differently. They will start with me putting off my old self and putting on my new self. And that I do that until it becomes habit. And maybe someone will notice that difference and make a change for themselves.

The Other Boleyn Girl

2010-04-23T23:17:00.004-04:00

Just watched The Other Boleyn Girl. Good movie, I really enjoyed it. I was a little distracted though, by a thought that kept running through my head, "Why is Ann Boleyn wearing Ugly Betty's necklace?"

Upper East Side Dinner

2010-04-22T21:45:00.002-04:00

So there I was. In a trendy, upper east side, italian restaurant. Candle light. Nice glass of wine. Fabulous dinner. With a man. Sounds like I've finally had a dream date, right?

Not so. The night was a Tuesday, it was so dark I couldn't read the menu, and the man was an 87 year old neighbor of my friends. Their friend. My friend too. I had the pleasure of escorting Bernie to his college writing class. Yep, you read correctly, his college writing class.

What an inspiration he is to me. At 87, this is his first college class. He moved into the city from Long Island after his wife of 60 years passed away. Living alone for the first time in a long time. Struggling at first, but becoming stronger. Stepping out and experiencing new things. How I wish my own father would have had the courage to do the same.

And how I hope to remember his courage as I continue to step beyond my comfort zone and reach for things I never reached for before. Things I never thought I deserved. I mean, if an 87 year old can write his first short story and read it in front of his class, what should I be afraid of?

Thank you for a wonderful evening, Bernard!

Basement

2010-04-18T12:17:00.004-04:00

So I think there's a girl living in my basement. Really. It's kind of creepy.

Shortly after I moved in to my new studio apartment (really, I do love living alone!) I met a woman in my building who was in the process of moving. Within three minutes she told me how she was being evicted and was going to live on the 5th floor with her friend. A little too much information was shared for someone I just met.

I have seen her several times since then, either in the building or just outside the building on the street. And lately, due to the situation, I have seen her in the laundry room and the storage area, both of which are located in the basement. When I see her, I usually smile. But sometimes I feel like I'm disturbing her or invading her privacy by making eye contact. Sometimes we speak, and sometimes she looks at me like she doesn't know me and ignores me when I say 'hello.'

A couple of weeks ago she was putting on make-up in the laundry room. And going back and forth from the gated storage area to the laundry room. And she wasn't doing laundry, either. Today I saw her coming in from the basement door, which is where the trash is kept. The basement door is not an entrance, although you can get in that way from the street. She went into the gated storage area. And I have also seen people coming in from outside through the basement door. Men. And they go into the gated storage area. Maybe there is more than one person living in the basement. Or maybe there's only one person and she has visitors.

I'm not sure what to think, but I can tell you that it's weird, creepy and sad all at the same time.

The Irony in the Story of Stuff

2010-04-17T10:17:00.004-04:00

I watched this video about two years ago that I thought was incredible. Since I still can't figure out how to add a link, type this in: www.storyofstuff.com
It really made me think of how we are a nation consumed with consumerism.

So a few weeks ago I'm early for an appointment and am browsing in a bookstore to kill time. This is what I see.

Anyone else see the irony here?

Protest

2010-04-16T12:57:00.002-04:00

For those of you who don't know, I work in the Bronx as a court advocate for an alternative to incarceration program. So, I was on my way back from interviewing a client I had produced in the department of corrections. To quickly sum up: orphaned, drug abuser, homeless, friendless and now dying. I'm trying to get him into a nursing home where he can die with dignity instead of in prison. His crime? Sleeping in a church and stealing their food.

So I leave supreme court and head next door to criminal court where my office is located. What do I see? A protest, cameras rolling. I stop a court officer and ask what is the commotion? It seems a Senator is demanding more time for offenders who are caught doing graffiti more than once. Yes, that makes sense. That's where our efforts should be gathered. More jail time for graffiti artists.

Now I want to protest. But I think first I will go the ladies room to cry...

Laugh

2010-04-01T22:50:00.002-04:00

Ok. This just makes me laugh every time I see it.
Out loud. Every time. Enjoy!

Joy

2010-04-01T20:45:00.001-04:00

About a month ago, I finally figured out what I have been lacking in my life: joy. So at my small group I asked my friends to pray for joy for me. I then made a note to concentrate on gratitude. I started reading Attitudes of Gratitude--a few stories each day in the morning. When I prayed to God I started by thanking him for all my blessings, whatever I could think of. And whenever I felt myself slip into something resembling envy or self-pity (which was pretty often), I took my thoughts captive and again gave God praise, thanked Him and then felt gratitude.

I find myself pondering, can it really be that simple? Is it just a matter of how I decide to think about something? Can I really change my thoughts? And the answer must be yes, it is that simple. And I believe if I take my thoughts captive to Christ, He can (and does) change them.

And I know this because I have JOY in my life! And my outward world has not changed for the better. In fact, some things have gotten worse. But inwardly, so much has changed. No longer will I listen to those negative voices that have always whispered in my ear, things like: you're not good enough; you're not smart enough; that does not look good on you; look at what those people have; you don't deserve that.

I now know that those are lies of the enemy and I can choose to not believe them. Yes, I CAN CHOOSE TO NOT BELIEVE THEM! It really is that simple to have Joy in your life.

Megashopping

2010-04-01T19:48:00.006-04:00

Last Friday after work, I hit the jackpot! Less than 20 minutes from my work (and my apartment) is the mother of all shopping centers. I'm not talking malls...have yet to see a mall in the city...think it could most be compared to a strip mall. All the specialty stores in one place!

[Target; B.J.'s (that's like Costco); Bed, Bath & Beyond; Home Depot; Toys R Us; Marshalls; Best Buy] [A Target less than 20 minutes from my home--I'm still smiling over this revelation!]

Shopping in NYC and finding places to shop in NYC isn't easy. To be sure, there are great stores here. Any store you've ever been to probably has a store here in NY. But the stores I'm used to shopping at to just 'stock up' on items is a rarity to find in the city. And now I know where they are! And they are close!

Now to find a way to conveniently carry my purchases, walking about 10 blocks and riding the train, all the way to my home...

A Perfect Saturday

2010-03-20T23:30:00.004-04:00

Ahhh, a perfect Saturday. Started out the day at my friend's Michelle's house (and by house I mean her lovely apartment in Murray Hill) where I spent the night. Friday night I went there for dinner and games with three other friends. Had a blast.

And Saturday morning I spent waking up to a welcoming cup of coffee and a smiling three year old who asked if I wanted to watch the movie Cars with her. Of course I did! Last fall it was Madagascar, this winter Cars. I love to be around little Sarah, she brings so much joy and laughter to me. (And I can never get enough of that! Really, who can?)

But then, the best part of the day...a shopping trip in a car with friends to Target in Long Island! Out of the city to suburbia! A welcome change. And a chance to shop at a store where it's not too crowded and the shelves aren't picked over. Two years ago, I never would have thought that a trip to Target could bring such joy! But a lot of things have changed in two years. Yes, a lot of things.

And the day kept getting better. We went to Panera for lunch. There are no Panera's in the city. There's one in Queens, but it just isn't convenient to get to. I miss Panera. I love their soup and salads. Got my favorite Broccoli Cheddar soup and Fuji Apple Chicken salad today. And even treated myself to a iced green tea! Could this day get better? Why, yes it could! I scored some free chips!

When I got back to Michelle's apartment, I gathered up my bags and hopped on a couple of buses with Michelle, Dave and Sarah: them to meet some friends, and me to get home. I don't take buses often, but it was too nice of a day to be underground. But I haven't even mentioned the day yet! 70 degrees! Sunny and beautiful!

I couldn't wait to drop off my bags and change into my running gear and head off to Central Park. My first run of the year. (I say that like I'm a runner, but really I just want to be a runner. Come to think of it, I guess wanting to be a runner makes me a runner!) I forgot how hilly Central Park is, but I ran/walked (mostly walked) the perimeter, which is 6.1 miles. And I couldn't help but be amazed at what a beautiful day, a beautiful park, really just being amazed at the beauty God provides all around me, and that I don't always see. There were daffodils (yes I had to use dictionary.com to spell daffodils!) crocuses, trees budding, and all types of people, families, running, walking, biking, enjoying this day. Fabulous!

Just realized that today is the first day of Spring. And a perfect first day of Spring it was!

Giving Up Your Seat

2010-03-05T23:28:00.002-05:00

I am a woman in my mid-forties. I understand I look much younger...much. But I still know that I look like a woman. So I am sometimes (and by sometimes I mean often) perplexed how I can get on a train with a dozen men seated and not one will offer me their seat. And I know that they see me. How do I know? Because none of them make eye contact! They become so engrossed in what they are reading, or just looking down at the floor, it's almost funny. In fact, I try to stare at them just to see if they'll look back. They never do.

And I just know they feel a little bit guilty, which is why they won't make eye contact. How do I know this? Because I'm a mom and when my son was 4, he'd do the same thing. You know, you're not doing anything wrong if no one 'sees' you.

Now I know many think that it is not fair that men should automatically give up their seats to women. And I can understand that (even though I don't agree.) But what I don't get is the not owning up to the fact that you're not giving up your seat when you feel that you should.

So here's my challenge: Men, look me in the eye as you sit and I stand. Be proud of the fact that you were either on the train before me or you're faster than me and beat me to the seat! Own it! And when you can't own it and stare at your book or the floor so you don't have to see me, know that I am extending grace to you, and not just because there have been times when I have done the exact same thing myself, she said, embarrassed. For the record, I never could look my mother in the eye if I did or was planning on doing something that wasn't right either, and I can't look fellow passengers who may be older and are standing in the eye as I am seated.

Shabbat Shalom

2010-02-12T21:56:00.011-05:00

Peaceful Sabbath. Tonight I went to temple. A Temple in Gramercy. I went with a friend of mine and her 87-year old neighbor, Bob. [Background: Bob lives in my friend's building. He lost his wife about a year and a half ago and isn't really connected with a community. My friend and her husband have befriended and really poured into Bob this last year. He's Jewish, wanted to go to temple, my friend went with him, I tagged along.]

I have been to many different churches in my life, mostly all Christian. In fact, all Christian except for a Buddhist temple I went to about 5 years ago. Now that was an interesting service. But tonight, I want to talk about temple. (Apologies in advance for anything I may write about incorrectly regarding the Jewish faith--I mean no disrespect--I'm just not familiar. If you're able to correct me, please do!)

This Temple is a Reform Judaism Temple. Everyone welcome. And I felt very welcomed. We were met by a woman who showed us around and explained about the service, the building, events going on, etc. The building is gorgeous! It was redone when they moved to this location about six years ago. (The temple has been around for 60 years.) It was designed using stones and marble found in Jerusalem. The altar (not sure it's called an altar--this is where I need a little grace) faces east so the room is kind of on an angle, which makes for a very comfortable, intimate feeling. It had very unique lighting. Ten hand-blown glass fixtures representing the 'quorum' needed for a prayer meeting in the Torah. There were Hebrew scriptures carved in bronze on the walls. But one of the most stunning features were the bronze doors, behind which held the Torah. And the scripture above the doors read, in Hebrew, 'know before whom you stand.'

The service was beautiful. There was a small band (drum, keys, guitar, clarinet) and most of the service was music. The cantor (the woman who stood next to the Rabbi and led the singing in Hebrew) had a beautiful voice. Many in the congregation sang along. Singing in Hebrew is beautiful to hear. It is so rich to the ears and it touched my soul. There is such a history, pride, a heritage of the Jewish people that goes back so many generations that I could feel their deep roots in those songs. There were many times this evening where I was simply mesmerized by the cantor's voice.

All the while I couldn't help but feel Jesus' presence next to me. And very saddened that the others in the Temple won't acknowledge him. I kept wondering what temple was like for him as a young boy. I imagined him with his family singing songs of praise and worship to God his Father. I'm sure his experiences were different than mine tonight, but I'm sure, like me, he was with other Jews who shared a rich history with each other. I hope Bob again wants company, and I get to go back one week soon. Good night and Shabbat Shalom!

Wine and Cheese and Laughter

2010-01-30T18:52:00.000-05:00

Two weeks ago I had what was probably the most fun night out I have had since moving to New York! It was my first home wine tasting party. Hosted by Dave and Michelle. Of course, Michael Jackson was there too. (And by Michael Jackson, I mean their incredibly smart three year old daughter who pretends to be MJ. Dancing, singing, costume changes, the works. Adorable!)

There were about 14 of us gathered. Everyone was instructed to bring either a red wine that was specific to a region or relating to their heritage, or a type of cheese. We had to prepare little speeches describing our fare, informing the group what made our offering special and which also helped in the guessing of which wine was which. The presentations were almost my favorite part. (My favorite part of the evening is yet to come.)

We then tasted each wine and had to rate it and guess who brought it based on their descriptions. Ellie brought a wine from Romania (Transylvania maybe?) and had something to do with werewolves in her presentation. How do you guess which wine goes with human flesh??? Hilarious!

So after tasting 8 different types of wine (and feeling a little twisted in the process) we rated and guessed who brought what, and the winner with the most right answers was...a Three Way Tie. So after a wine trivia Q & A, the winner was...a Two Way Tie. And how do you break a Two Way Tie? Why with a Talent Show, of course!

And this was my favorite part of the evening. Ralph doing his Michael Jackson moonwalk and Steve with his Mick Jagger strut. Two of the most quiet and reserved men who allowed a room filled with friends chanting "Talent Show, Talent Show" to intimidate them into performing so they could "win" the wine tasting contest. I laughed until my sides hurt and tears nearly rolled down my cheeks. Yes, a night to remember. Total cost: $13 in cheese and crackers. Memories: Priceless!

Skype

2010-01-30T18:21:00.000-05:00

(Note: this picture is not me or Isabella, not even actors portraying us!)
What an incredible invention. I love to Skype! I realize that this is not a new invention, but it is new to me. I now get to see my family, and by family I mean my precious granddaughter and her parents, and not just hear my family. Or, to be truthful, not just text my family or stalk them on facebook to see what they're up to.

Before getting a camera to plug into my pc, the only calls I made by video were with incarcerated felons at Riker's Island. I still get to do that, part of my job, with help from the WhisperRoom. [Shout out to my cousin, Shari, and her husband, the inventors of the WhisperRoom!] www.whisperroom.com

But I must say, seeing Isabella Marie via video, MUCH nicer!

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, the book

2010-01-30T17:31:00.000-05:00

Last end of summer/beginning of fall I finished what is now my favorite book, and the inspiration behind my blog name, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. The two and a half hours I used to spend commuting each day flew by like they never had before while I was reading this book. (That was also around the time I stopped blogging regularly, and this is one of the unfinished posts I'm just getting around to finishing.)

The main character, Francie, grew up in Brooklyn. She is a smart, tough survivor, who loves the library, loves to read, and loves dill pickles. What's not to love about a character like that? (Hmm, now I'm beginning to notice why I loved Francie so much and why I loved this book!)

As soon as I finished reading it, I lent it to my co-worker who I hoped would enjoy it as much as I did. My plan was when she returned it, to read it again. She got halfway through it. Said it was good, but really descriptive--she couldn't focus on it. (What I loved about the book was that it was so descriptive!) This I believe speaks of the younger, instant gratification generation. You know, the generation that never has to even type entire words (lol, btw, rotfl, etc.) to describe their feelings, how are they expected to read a book where entire paragraphs are devoted to a thought? Or, we just have different tastes in books.

So I didn't read it again. Instead I lent it to my sister (no generational gap there!) so I could have her opinion. Trouble is, I gave it to my younger sister to pass off to my older sister. So I now have a missing book!

If you've read the book yourself, I'd love to know your opinion. Did you like it, love it, never finish it? If you haven't read it, get to the library and read it and then let me know your opinion. And share with me your favorite book!

Shopping in my Harlem Neighborhood

2010-01-10T19:54:00.002-05:00

Really this post is more about shopping in New York rather than just my new neighborhood. I still have not adjusted to the differences compared with shopping in the suburbs of Michigan.

Today I was in Paragon, a department store down the street from me. It's about my third time in there. There's one floor with areas including: clothes, home decorating, cleaning and beauty supplies. It's where I've shopped for household cleaners, lotions, toothpaste, etc. Great prices and again, right down the street.

So I'm getting ready to check out and what's this? There's an ENTIRE OTHER LEVEL downstairs. Right there across from the checkout! Impossible to miss, except I've been there 3 times and missed it! Cookware, gifts, furniture, toys, etc. This store has everything!

It's like everything in NYC. I have to look at things with a different perspective. Buildings, stores are not what they may appear to be at first glance (or second or third glance.) Just like what I'm learning to do with the people I encounter. I tend to judge them by their outward appearance and judge them based upon some fault or shortcoming I have in myself, most times without ever realizing it.

I am constantly brought back to the Gospels where Jesus noticed things that his disciples did not. They saw what was right in front of them yet missed what was right in front of them. Just like me. Yet the disciples and I have Jesus and the Holy Spirit to instruct and guide us. I just pray that I ask him for guidance every day so that I don't miss what is right in front of me. As he went along, he saw...

My Studio Apartment-After

2010-01-02T19:23:00.008-05:00

Now this is more like it! I still have to organize my closet and bathroom, but the rest is done! Honestly, it's better than I expected. Home, Sweet, Home!

Lost and Lost

2009-12-28T21:36:00.006-05:00

I am a pretty organized individual. I put things away. (Well, once I get unpacked, I put things away.) But today a couple of things threw me for a loop. First, I need to do laundry. I am lucky, blessed, thrilled, etc. that there is a laundry room in the basement of my building. No more walking six blocks to Atlantis 24 hour wash and fold!

I received a check from Macy's for a credit they owed me of $6 and some change. Enough to do some laundry. I put the check in my purse this morning, along with a plastic bag filled with loose change. (Enough I thought to not only do laundry, but to pick up a can of coffee at the grocery store--thanks to Kansas' generosity I'll be set with other groceries 'til I get paid in a week and a half!)

On my way out the office this evening I discover the check is gone! Not in my purse, not in my cabinet, not anywhere! Total disappointment and frustration. I get to the bank and have $10 in coins. Okay, I can still make this work. I get home. Where is my laundry card? It is gone, it is nowhere. (You have to use a prepaid card to do laundry, you just keep adding $$ onto the card. But, in order to get the card you have to pay an extra $5. So $10 will get you $5 in credit.) That means all my $10 spent, and only enough credit to do one load of laundry!

I have 3 pairs of clean underwear, 4 days of coffee, and $10 cash in my possession. What to do? I decided to wait until tomorrow.

Housewarming

2009-12-28T21:14:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I received a wonderful housewarming present. First, I unpacked. Didn't finish, but got a pretty good start. Then off to meet Kansas at Rockefeller Center. I had yet to see the tree lit up, my pocketbook was empty, and I haven't seen Kansas in a long time, so thought it'd be a nice end to the Christmas holiday--a leisurely stroll around town catching up with a friend, seeing some NYC Christmas things.

Wrong. There were tourists by the busload. The streets were crowded. And it was a nice day which meant even more people were about. The only NY's who were happy were the street vendors selling their fare at 2 to 3 times the normal price. (I actually witnessed a guy paying $3 for a pretzel!) So we pushed through the crowds to get uptown to my place.

We decided to stop at the grocery store and pick up something to make for dinner. We met up with James at Key Foods, bought ingredients for chicken cacciatore, some cheap wine and headed home.

My wonderful housewarming present? Groceries bought for me, dinner prepared by a friend for me, a bag of goodies from James' apartment (tea lights, matches, instant coffee, chocolates) and best of all, an evening spent with friends!

I'm hoping my next guests won't have to eat their dinner sitting on the floor, eating off paper plates using plastic utensils, and drinking wine out of coffee mugs. But come to think of it, I'd rather have friends that don't mind one bit.

My Studio Apartment-Before

2009-12-26T11:46:00.016-05:00

Today I am going to unpack and get settled into my apartment. (That is the goal anyway. So far I've been up for 3 hours and haven't started!) I continue to have difficulty posting photos, but here are some from when I first moved in, nothing but a bed and a suitcase...

How it looked when my stuff was moved in by my Communitas family and I was visitng my family in MI...

How it looks now after a week and a half of rummaging through bags...

For those of you not satisfied with the dimensions given by me (if me and another person held hands and reached, we could just about touch all four walls!) I measured with my new dollar store measuring tape. Dimensions: 11 1/2' X 13 1/2' (Which means I was pretty right-on with the holding hands and stretching measurement.) Which also means it's tons roomier than my last room in Brooklyn which measured only 6 1/2' X 14 1/2'. (Of course in Brooklyn I had some common areas I shared (living room, dining room, kitchen) but my bedroom was where all my stuff was and the only place I really felt comfortable.)

Soon to come, After pictures!

Christmas Day

2009-12-26T10:44:00.006-05:00

My second Christmas in NYC started with my now annual Christmas Brunch Tradition with Ellie and Jenn. This year I went to their apartment and we each prepared some dishes which turned into a feast. Blueberry waffles, turkey bacon, potato pancakes, eggs (and Bailey's, Quantro, Mojitos--there seems to be a mini theme of partaking spirits at Christmastime going for me here!) We cooked and talked and laughed and shared the morning with each other.

Then off to 'dinner' for Jenn and I with Jenn's friend Mary and her boyfriend Frank. (Please note 'dinner' is in quotations because Mary made reservations for 1pm!) We just finished eating brunch and had to change and leave for dinner. Ellie asked if she could do my makeup, Jenn lent me a sweater, I put on a skirt I brought, and I felt all dolled up! (Yes, it's pretty vain, I know, but I'm adding a picture--it's been a long time since I dressed up for anything.)

We met at Fishtails on 62nd and Lexington and had a really fun afternoon. This was my first time meeting Mary and Frank, and I was happy to spend the afternoon with them. We spent over 3 hours at that restaurant. We had a back room to ourselves. (We needed the room, Mary uses a scooter and Frank uses a chair.) We laughed so much! My goal next year is to be able to afford more than just one and a half glasses of wine and a small tossed salad (total spent: $43!) The best part was watching both Frank and Mary enjoy their dinners. (They are both currently in a rehab facility and don't have the opportunity to get out often or eat decent meals.) And I have to comment on the staff at Fishtails. They were so extraordinarily nice and accommodating, every single person there. And the food was perfect. (If only I liked seafoood!)

Finally the end of the day, back to Jenn's and into my sweatpants, watching 'It's a Wonderful Life' (my all time favorite movie!) then a trip back to the comfort of my studio apartment.

A beautiful Christmas spent enjoying the people God has brought into my life, and enjoying the place He has me at right now. None of it planned, none of it expected, all of it wonderful!

Christmas Eve

2009-12-25T01:59:00.007-05:00

I had the best Christmas Eve and Christmas Day! Surrendering to where you are instead of wishing you were someplace else makes all the difference in the world. (Having a wonderful friend who you want to spend time with doesn't hurt either!)

I had to work on Christmas Eve, covering for a coworker in Queens, (and believe me, this was the busiest week with clients making poor decisions, both mine and my coworker's--the holidays can be difficult for people)so after work I came home and took a nap. I had plans to meet my good friend, Jenn, who also had to work, to attend midnight mass. Our plans were to meet on Fifth Avenue & 58th Street and walk around a bit before mass started.

One of my favorite areas in NYC is 5th & 58th. It's what I consider to be a romantic area and on Christmas Eve it is simply magical! It's at the bottom of Central Park and so there are a lot of horse drawn carriages. My favorite movie theater is there, Paris, as well as the Plaza Hotel. (I have always wanted to go to the Plaza! I admit it's maybe the one 'wedding dream' I have, to spend my wedding night at the Plaza!) Many tourists are always in this area to check out the Apple store and shop at FAO Schwartz. But the best thing to see at Christmastime are the windows at Bergdorf Goodman!

I met Jenn at the corner and was greeted by her warm smile (and a diet coke bottle filled with spirits;) The windows at Bergdorf Goodman were spectacular, truly a work of art. We went to both The Plaza and the Waldorf Astoria, my first time at both luxury hotels (it was only to use the restrooms, but no one needs to know that!) Jenn was unable to get tickets for St. Patrick's Cathedral's mass (which you have to do in September) so we tried to find another Catholic church they recommended, St. Agnes. We finally found St. Agnes, only to discover they didn't have a midnight mass! We wandered around the city trying to find anther catholic church when we stumbled upon St. Bartholomew's Church. Beautiful! We were late, but managed to hear and sing some Christmas songs as well as partake in communion (which I don't think you're supposed to do if you're not Catholic, but we did anyway--my first time in a long time approaching and kneeling at an altar.)

And then Christmas Day...

Hiatus

2009-12-24T20:12:00.003-05:00

So I suppose some of you may have noticed that I haven't posted in a while, and some of you (at least one of you!) may have noticed that the last time I posted was on Nov. 4th and am now off your list of 'blogs I read.' The longer it's been since I haven't blogged, the harder it is to write---not because I have nothing to say, but because I feel compelled to explain why I haven't written and what has been going on. So I think the best thing to do is to just jump in without an explanation and stop letting opportunities to share pass me by.

But, for those of you know me, know I can't do that and instead will post the blogs I started over the last few months (in various stages of completedness) with the date started.

Following God's Will
10/25/09
It's funny, but it's hard to follow God's will when you don't take the time to ask Him what His will is.

Homeless and Stuffless
11/3/09
I have been living for nearly a year and a half now without most of my belongings. In July of 2008 I sold nearly everything I owned in preparation to move to NY. The little bit I kept was put into storage, in Michigan. I then spent 3 months living with my cousins. Then to Brooklyn where I lived in "community" for a year. In a tiny, tiny room with no closet.

And now, where do I find myself? Without a home, again. Other than a suitcase, a box and a bag, the rest of my belongings are on a truck. A truck which is parked somewhere along the East River. A truck that in a few days will be headed to MI for the month. With my stuff on it.

My life just keeps getting more and more 'interesting.' And by interesting, I mean unbearable. I am...

Doubt
11/3/09
I'm doubting the existence of God. I have a hard time believing in someone, something, that can continue to push, and push, and push.

I feel as if I am being pushed and held down underwater. But the worst part is that for a moment, I am allowed to come up for air. And as I take a breath, I start to have hope that I will be able to breathe. And then I am held under again. I can handle being held down underwater. It is the cruel taunt of being let up for air where I can catch my breath that is the torture. The struggle of fighting my way to the surface is exhausting...exhausting in body, mind and spirit.

I just want to be able to breathe without swallowing water.

NYorkiversary
11/9/09
Monday marked my one year in New York City! So many changes this year, I don't know where to begin.

So as you can see I haven't been totally idle these past few months. In fact it has certainly been the hardest few months in the past few years, but I have experienced much growth. It was just easy for me to get wrapped up in and absorbed in my own version of my story without realizing that I am not the author of my novel.

In summation, for those of you who have actually continued to read this lengthy piece, I have had to rely and trust in God, learn to ask for help and receive it, confess and repent of my sins, receive forgiveness. And all this I learned through moving out of Brooklyn before it is time, living with friends (who continue to amaze me with their way of living open-handedly), trying to find an apartment in this city with bad credit and one I could afford, moving (without my belongings), no internet access, a trip to MI (but not for the holidays), finally receiving my belongings, and another Thanksgiving, Birthday, and Christmas in New York without my family.

Blog Name

2009-11-04T00:03:00.004-05:00

Well, I don't live in Brooklyn anymore. (I don't exactly live anywhere right now, but that's an entirely different story!) I was thinking how my name 'A Michigander Grows in Brooklyn' no longer fits my situation.

But I don't think I'll change it.

Mustard

2009-10-26T22:26:00.003-04:00

So there is so much going on in my life right now, but especially things going on inside me. But I don't have time for an in depth, heart-felt post, so I'm writing about mustard. Yes, mustard.

Seems like New Yorkers don't do mustard. It's available at restaurants, for sure, but there isn't a McDonald's or a fast food place that seems to use it or carry it! Imagine...no mustard! Absurd!

I had a very nutritious (and thankfully probably only the 6th time I've eaten 'fast food' in a year) meal at McDonald's and was again appalled at the lack of mustard on the burger. Which of course meant there was none for my fries! Imagine that! When I asked the order taker for mustard, he handed me a little container of honey mustard sauce. He didn't even know what mustard was?

I suppose there are worse things about this city other than the lack of mustard, but right now I can't think of any of them. What can I say? I really detest ketchup.

Missing Michigan

2009-10-08T22:34:00.003-04:00

This is what I miss most in Michigan. Can you blame me?

Isn't she beautiful? Oh, and they're at the cider mill. I miss that too!

Beauty

2009-10-01T20:32:00.003-04:00

Every day I am surrounded by inexplicable beauty. We all are. Trouble is, most of the time I don't notice it. Then there are the rare occasions when I am overwhelmed by something I see with my heart.

Like today. On the train I sat across from a young boy of about 10 and who I believe was his grandfather. The little boy seemed a little impatient, but the grandfather was not. I could sense the love he had for his grandson. Not in any extraordinary way, just in the way he looked at him. As they exited the train, the grandfather looked right at me. And smiled. And from that shared glimpse I knew that them being on the train was a gift for me.

It was then that I thanked God for his unbelievable kindness to share with me moments such as these. And my heart exploded (really, kind of like the Grinch's at the end of the book. I apologize to whomever recently used this analogy--as I wrote it I feel like I'm plagiarising, but since it seemed to fit, I'm keeping it!)

I usually forget these things after they happen. They lose their significance and I get caught back up in the business of being me (a pretty time consuming business, actually.) But today I remembered. And I wanted to share. Not just for you, but so that I would remember and hopefully notice the beauty surrounding me.

God Loves Me

2009-09-28T22:27:00.000-04:00

I've been reading 'Blue Like Jazz' (Thanks Superstar, I love this book!) the last couple of days and what I read tonight on my way home from work hit me like a ton of bricks. I have not been able to accept God's love. I think I will be forever stuck until I can humbly receive God's unconditional love.

Of course I will also have trouble forgiving. And accepting others. And loving others. Before I can give anything to anyone, I must first receive. The values at our church are: Love, Lock, Live. Love others, Lock arms with each other, and Live open handedly. But before we can love others, we are told we must first receive God's love. I have heard that saying so many times. And it is just now clicking with me. Funny how it sometimes takes many times for something to resonate!

And why can't I receive God's love? Now that is the tricky part. For whatever reason, deep down, I don't believe I deserve it. But that is changing.

Riding on the bus and reading the book and realizing that I need to receive His love, I had a vision. (Not like a psychic vision or anything crazy like that) but a picture in my mind of how much God loves me. Instead of me picturing me running to Him, I saw God noticing me from the corner of his eye and running towards me. Yes, towards me! He was so happy to see me because his love for me is overwhelming...and unconditional. I was surprised by his action, delighted with his attention, and warmed in his presence.

So now I have a new goal. I'm going to stay in this place of just simply being loved and adored by my creator. For as long as I need to. I am going to just receive until I am filled up. And I think God is delighted with my goal.

Un something

2009-09-28T22:00:00.000-04:00

So I found this draft of a post that I never published, and I wonder why I didn't. It was written in mid August. I must say reading it now is helping me to know that things have changed for me in the last month and a half...positively. So I'm posting it now so that I can look back and remember that if there is one constant in life, it is change.

I am feeling so unable to express the way I've been feeling lately, so forgive me. I've never felt so confused about everything, yet so sure at the same time. My life is full of contradictions.

I feel as if there is no one who can understand where I'm at, what I see. Here I am helping to plant a church whose primary goal is to serve the marginalized in the city...in Gramercy. One of the wealthiest areas in New York City. Of course, there are people in need everywhere. No matter what their lives look like on the outside, you never really know what their lives are like inside their protected bubbles. And there are homeless everywhere, too.

But here I am living in Bed Stuy, Brooklyn, and working in the Bronx. Both very impoverished areas. The people I see everyday in my neighborhood and in my work are very different than in midtown. Mostly, they are black and/or latino. I am a minority in both places. Very different in Midtown where I more easily blend, at least outwardly. Which gives me a sense of disconnect. Not that I don't blend where I work and live, but that there is such a sharp contrast to the area of my church and those I serve with.

The poverty, suffering and pain of the people I encounter in my work everyday is overwhelming at times. I can't help but to become emotionally involved with my cases, which leaves me feeling burdened by the end of the day. I hope that I never become too hardened that I am not involved in my cases--it is after all people's lives I'm dealing with--but I hope that it doesn't weigh me down either.

I pray that I find a way to do God's will and to be understood, all at the same time.

The Jeffersons

2009-09-25T17:06:00.002-04:00

I have had the Jefferson's theme song running through my head for the past week. Why? Because I am moving! I don't know to where yet, but I do know where from--from a sink consistently full of dirty dishes, from 2-3 transfers when I go anywhere, from a house of young roommates (which I'm sure works well in your 20's, but not so well in your 40's), from being far away from my church family.

I have lived almost my entire life in two places, so these last few years of moving around into new and unique situations has been a bit of a stretch for me. I'm praying that the next place I land is a place of comfort for me.

The odd thing is that it is too soon to start looking for a place. Imagine that, 33 days until I move and it's too soon to look! What is on the market now will not be available on November 1st. So I have to really be patient until the time comes to search.

Until then, I'm going to keep singing to myself, "Moving on up, moving on up, to a deluxe apartment in the skyyyy. Yes, I'm moving on up, to the east side. I'll finally get a piece of the pie."

School Buses

2009-09-25T16:49:00.002-04:00

There are hardly any school buses in NYC. I'm sure you're now wondering, 'how do the children get to school, then?' I'll tell you. They take the regular buses (and trains too.)

So the crowded bus I take into downtown Brooklyn each day to catch the train that takes me to the Bronx is now jam packed with people--adults and kids alike. My 1 hour and 15 minute commute has been at least 10 minutes longer since school started. And the bus has been crammed.

It is not a nice way to start the day--being bumped and pushed and jostled, (while standing 'cuz now it's hard to get a seat!)--no, not nice at all.

Living in the city can be so amazing. But it can also be really hard and wear you down. And most days I feel both extremes, sometimes in the span of ten minutes.

United Nations

2009-09-20T20:44:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I forget where I'm living, which just so happens to be the coolest city in the states. Today after church (we've started meeting in the mornings!) I decided to run some errands and pick up some items I needed from my favorite place, Bed, Bath & Beyond on 61st Street and 1st Ave. That store has everything!

It was a beautiful day today so I decided to walk up 1st Ave. from 19th Street. A quick stop at Pastors' to pick up a package--thanks kids for the nice surprise!--then continuing up 1st from 33rd. I started to see signs stating 'No Parking Today' and 'Keep Moving' which is a bit unusual. There were also many police cars, police officers and gates pushed to the sides of the street which are used for crowd control and to block off streets. Then I noticed several tour buses and people standing around with press badges.

Turns out there was some type of gathering at the U.N. today. That's right, the UNITED NATIONS! It then occurs to me that 'I live here.' In the same city as the U.N. How cool is that?

But there's more. I needed to stop at the bookstore, too, so I did some more meandering. I passed 'Serendipity' the restaurant from the John Cusack movie and strolled down 5th Avenue. Central Park, The Plaza, the shops on 5th Ave. So often I get caught up in my day-to-day affairs I don't stop and realize where I live and all the cool things in the city. Fall in New York is magical!

Hand in Hand

2009-09-09T21:03:00.002-04:00

Walking from my office to the train after work, I saw the cutest thing: a little girl holding her mom's hand as she walked along a ledge, balancing oh so carefully. And she went along for quite some time...until she had to hop off because of the man laying across her path, fast asleep (or passed out.)

And no one seemed to notice him.

Forgiveness

2009-09-06T23:09:00.003-04:00

Tonight on my way home from church I was feeling very introspective. We are studying the Lord's prayer. Tonight's verse was Matthew 6:12 "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors." It was a message that I felt was just for me. About forgiveness. Something I have been struggling with, (although unaware until tonight that I was) and something that is probably behind and underneath all my core issues. And as much as I needed to really let my emotions overflow while I was at church, I held it in until I could be alone and take some time to let it all sink in. I couldn't let myself be vulnerable. Which is really a nice way of saying that I was afraid to start crying, because I'm not sure if once I do that I'll be able to ever stop. (Looking back, this was a mistake, because once home I was unable to get back to that moment.)

So here I am today, a holiday, sick. Just a summer cold. Not sick enough to feel real miserable, just sick enough to not want to do anything. And I'm home alone. (which itself is a miracle.) Maybe God is trying to tell me something. Maybe it's time for me to let down all my defenses and work through this forgiveness that I owe. Maybe then I will no longer have a barrier that separates me from fully experiencing God's grace and mercy. Maybe.

Taking the "high" way home

2009-09-06T22:47:00.005-04:00

On the crowded G train on my way home from church tonight, I sat in between two young men. Across from us was another young man, whom I could tell was their friend. It only took a moment for me to realize that these boys were very high. They must have smoked many a blunt in an enclosed room for hours for their clothes to absorb so much of the odor. I looked to my right, then across at the boy on the other bench and said, "man are you boys high." To which I received a smile, then a laugh and a turn away. I also mentioned that if we rode many stops together, I was afraid I was going to get high just sitting next to them! (I didn't.)

We spoke for a couple of minutes, mostly me talking and them looking back at me all paranoid. (The boy sitting next to me did ask me a couple of questions, so at least he was following what I was talking about.) It was a situation that I wished I could have helped or influenced or encouraged them in some way. Explain that there is more to life than getting high. But trying to talk to someone when they're lit, probably isn't the best timing. I did pray for them. And who knows? Maybe I did touch them in some way.

Independent Woman

2009-08-29T09:55:00.003-04:00

My yesterday started out not so great. I didn't get much sleep (roommates) and it was raining. I caught the bus, which wasn't too crowded, so I got a seat. (minor victory there.) I had to get up from my seat to let the lady sitting next to me off at a crowded stop, and got shoved about 15 different ways. I was cussing to myself about how unfair it is to start the day being pushed and shoved, and how this is one of the things in my NY life I could definitely do without. I was feeling sorry for myself. Poor me.

And then I saw her. Sitting in the front seat of the bus was a woman I had seen before. She is developmentally disabled. I sat next to her and her caregiver about a month ago. She was learning how to take the bus all by herself. Her caregiver was pointing out landmarks and showing her how to press the strip to indicate she's requesting a stop. I remembered how anxious and nervous she was.

And there she was today on the bus. All alone. An independent woman. I praised God then and there for the gift of allowing me to see her beauty, to put things in perspective. I hope to remember that my little annoyances are someone else's great achievements.

My Guilty Pleasure

2009-08-15T10:24:00.002-04:00

Well, I did something I promised myself I would never do this week. And I can't believe I'm posting about it. They do say that admitting you have a problem is the start of solving the problem, so I guess that this is the first step. OK, here goes! After years of waiting for dentist and hair appointments to get my fix, I broke down and bought a Cosmopolitan magazine on Wednesday!

I honestly believe that what you put into yourself, you get back out. And that includes information and entertainment. I try to read papers to inform me of what is going on, or books that inspire me to be a better person. But there is just something about those titles on those magazines that grab my attention! And on Wednesday I was weak. Step One: I admit I am powerless over trashy magazines!

But, I admit, Thursday's commute seemed to go by really fast!

Acupuncture

2009-08-05T21:51:00.002-04:00

One of the benefits of my job, apparently, is Acupuncture. On Wednesdays at our main location in Long Island City (that's in Queens to you non-NYers!) employees and clients are allowed to get free acupuncture. Kind of a weird benefit, but a benefit nonetheless.

So today I was in LIC for a meeting and thought, what the heck, I'll do it. 5 needles were put into each of my ears for about 15-20 minutes. And I felt so relaxed! And a little loopy. Like I do after a massage or yoga.

Acupuncture. I'm for it!

"Only in Brooklyn"

2009-08-02T13:16:00.005-04:00

This is one of my favorite phrases to say lately. I come across something every day that makes me smile and think, "only in Brooklyn."

A recent example? Well, if you were a parent and wanted to take your kids to the beach on the weekend, and wanted to make that trip extra special, wouldn't YOU want to let them ride the bumper cars where they could "bump your ass off"???

Yep, Only in Brooklyn!

Beach

2009-08-02T12:52:00.005-04:00

As I sit on my bed this rainy, overcast day writing this post, I am so grateful that my friend, Maria, called me to cancel our trip to the beach for today. We went yesterday instead. And I must say that yesterday was a picture perfect, not a cloud in the sky, kind of day. We spent almost 5 hours on the beach at Coney Island, and not a thing was missing, except for sunscreen!

Which is why I'm really doing nothing today. My backside is lobster red. It hurts to sit, it hurts to shower, it hurts to stand! I promise to never go out in the sun without sunscreen again! I've made that promise before, but this time I mean it!

But it was honestly a spectacular day. Relaxing in the sun with encouraging conversation from a friend; standing in the ocean and letting the waves lift me up and propel me backwards towards the shore; the pure joy on the faces of the people around me in the water, young, old, men, women, as the waves came upon them and knocked them over; watching the kids and adults (mostly adults) flying kites along the shore reminding me of my friends Mr. & Mrs. Dan (hope you can see the kites in the picture); and seeing all types of bodies in all types of swimwear (this was actually quite frightening in some instances!)

What will I remember most from this day? That I am a child of God and am deserving of happiness. I can ask God for what I want and what I need. I need to trust Him with my life. That He is always with me. That Satan is sneaky and puts doubt in my mind and my heart when I let him. Oh, yeah, and WEAR SUNSCREEN!

Fireflies

2009-07-19T22:39:00.002-04:00

Tonight as I was walking to the train on my way home from church, I stopped for a bit at Stuyvesant Park to think. I am feeling pretty disconnected and thought I could clear my head.

And to my delight, the park was filled with fireflies! I haven't seen fireflies in ages. I remember seeing them as a girl camping (just ask any of my cousins or siblings about my mom worrying they'd burn a hole in her new tent!) The ones from my youth, I think, were yellow and large. These ones were small and lit up green. Magical.

I'm still feeling disconnected, but for a little while this evening I was transported somewhere else.

What is 4502, 2131, 205 & 2542?

2009-07-18T23:06:00.006-04:00

Over all place, Gender place, Age place & Age-graded gender place for my race today in Central Park. My very first race. It was 4 miles in Central Park. And I finished! (see proud photo of self!) Which puts me into an age-graded performance level of 39.8% Which makes sense, 'cuz I feel like I'm only using about 40% of my body! There were 4732 finishers, 2305 of them women, which makes me faster than 230 people(if my math is correct, anyway), 174 of them women--223 women in my age bracket. (Notice I'm not mentioning that most of them were much faster than me!)

I decided sometime last fall that I was going to get in shape and start running. I ran for about a month, then quit when I moved to New York in November. I started back again in March, but haven't been too regular, running only once or twice a week, and never more than 2 1/2 miles or so.

But here it was race day. I was nervous, excited, and anxious. I had no idea where to pin my number, how to tie my chip onto my shoe. There were about 7,000 runners there. Completely overwhelming. I am so grateful to my friend Michelle, an experienced runner, who met me at the park and encouraged and ran with me. And I'm a slow runner. (Due mostly, I think, to my miniature sized legs and the fact that I'm not very athletic.) So she ran slow. (And walked with me when I needed to walk.)

And the best part? People on the sidelines clapping and cheering. Add that to the fact that only about 3-5% of the population runs and I'm feeling pretty proud today. Already thinking about my next race and how I can improve. First thing I'll do is run in the fall or spring when there isn't 94% humidity.

Ice Cream Truck

2009-07-18T22:43:00.002-04:00

It's 10:40pm. Even though it's summer, it's been dark for quite a while. What's that I hear? Oh, it's the ice cream truck peddling his wares. Unusual at this time of night? Not in Brooklyn.

Delta

2009-07-12T21:18:00.003-04:00

So I was checking the web for some info on Delta Airlines and noticed that they didn't have a tagline (You know, Fly the Friendly Skies, etc.) on their website. I think I may have one for them to use, although they are unlikely to. How about, 'Delta, We Treat You Rudely?'

I was coming back from Chicago from my niece's wedding. (More on this joyous occasion later!) For years I have flown NorthWest, and have built up a bit of frequent flyer miles since I used to travel a lot for work. So based on my financial situation now, it seemed that a free trip to Chicago using my miles was a good idea.

This is my first trip since Delta and NorthWest have merged. I have always been happy with the service I have received from NWA--they are (or were) truly professional. I didn't get a non-stop flight, so I had to fly to Detroit first from Chicago. The weekend was so action packed spending time with my family, that I didn't get much sleep. So I decided to take a little nap on the plane, which I'm sure many travelers do every day.

I was having a hard time getting comfortable, so I laid my head down on the table (just like they made us do in elementary school, remember?) It was pretty comfortable and I did get to sleep, and although you can't get a really deep sleep on a plane, it worked. But it is a short flight and before you know it, we started our descent--it was time to land.

And how does my flight attendant choose to ask me to put up my tray table? By stating, We're starting to land? Excuse me ma'am, I need you to put your table up? Gently tapping my shoulder to wake me up? No, none of these were her option. She decided the best method would be to slam her hand down on my tray table three times hard. Nice way to wake up, right? Nice customer service.

I must say, I am not a fan of Delta Airlines.

Six Seconds of Fame

2009-06-21T11:59:00.002-04:00

My friends and I made it to the video. We're at 2:08 square dancing and 2:30 napping. So, I wonder, will I continue to get my 15 minutes of fame in 6 second increments?

http://improveverywhere.com/2009/06/15/the-mp3-experiment-six/
(Sorry, I still can't figure out how to post links!)

Unexpected Blessings

2009-06-18T21:29:00.003-04:00

Tonight on the train home, I had the most beautiful experience. And seeing as I was on the L, that's saying a lot!

I was standing in the middle of a car, in between a family: a mother and son on one side, a father and daughter on the other. I rode with them for 3 stops and watched as they interacted with each other. It was the little boy who I first noticed. He was about 4 years old (the age I always picture my son when I'm feeling nostalgic or lonely for him--also, if I had to pick a favorite age of my son, it would be 4) and he asked his sister for a piece of gum he found in her backpack by motioning to her across the train. She shook her head no and he promptly stuck out his tongue at her.

Now this is not cute to parents, but it's incredibly endearing to those of us whose children are grown. What struck me was how the mother interacted with her children. It was so obvious that they were loved. And this despite the fact that the entire family was incredibly tired--both parents were nodding off, and so was their daughter, but not their son who was filled with energy.

I wish I had a better vocabulary so that I could express the joy I felt for being able to witness this family for even a short time. I wondered if they knew how lucky they were to have each other. I wondered if they knew that their parenting showed through their interactions, even to a stranger observing them on a train. I wondered if they were able to take in the joy of that moment, and the thousands of other moments that occur in their lives, instead of just letting in pass unnoticed. I wondered how many times in my own life I have let moments just like these pass me by because I was tired, or worried, or had my priorities mixed up.

I thank God that I was able to see clearly tonight and pray that I am able to keep my eyes open to notice the joy that surrounds me every day.

Church = Party on the Roof

2009-06-15T06:26:00.002-04:00

Shaekspeare in the Park

2009-06-14T13:54:00.003-04:00

One of the best things about this city is that there are a ton of things to do for free. Last night when I got home from Coney Island (now one of my favorite NYC spots!) I saw an email from a community member offering up an extra ticket to see Twelfth Night with Anne Hathaway in Central Park.

The tickets are free, you just have to stand in line very early in the morning or enter the online lottery to get tickets. Julia won them online. And I got to go with her!

It was fabulous! A comedy (who doesn't like a comedy?) with fabulous actors on a small stage in the center of Central Park. It did rain (they even had to take a rain delay shortly after starting--but it finally cleared up), I did get wet, and it turned a little cold, but that just adds to the adventure.

If you ever get a chance to go, GO!

Coney Island

2009-06-14T13:22:00.005-04:00

Yesterday I decided to take the day off to do nothing but something fun and relaxing. (So if any of my roommates are reading this, I had this planned before you decided to have a spring cleaning day!) Which fit in perfectly with my small group bible lesson from this week, taking a Sabbath. There was much discussion as to what it means to take a Sabbath, but I went away with the understanding that it is important to take time to de-stress and unwind from the busy week. And especially in this city, where even going grocery shopping or doing the laundry can be a real chore!

So yesterday I started off my day by going to Coney Island. It was in the 70's and overcast, but after an entire week of rain (and especially getting rained on--no getting into your car from your attached garage in this city!) I considered it to be a perfect day!

It would be impossible for me to say everything I did, but I'm going to try! First was a stop at Nathan's Coney Island for a hot dog and fries, a must when going to Coney Island. They have a bunch of stand up tables, so I joined someone, (with his permission, of course) since there were no empty tables. Turns out he was a vendor on his lunch break. He had been coming to CI all his life, and told me about the many changes that have occurred at the park.

Then it was off to walk the boardwalk; a 5 minute free massage; a ride on the tilt-a-whirl (my absolute favorite ride ever!); played a couple of games of ski-ball; shot some objects in the shooting gallery (and I'm a good shot, too--I hit some buckets that sprayed water on the people who were next to me!); walked along the beach and went into the water up to my knees (it was cold); saw some people fishing (and they used chicken as bait--I think they were going for crabs?); saw an African festival; and read a book on the beach.

The thing that struck me most was the people. It wasn't too crowded since the weather wasn't nice, but the people there were all enjoying themselves. Kids swimming, making sandcastles, burying each other and their parents in the sand. And it seemed to me that most of the people there were not wealthy (me judging them by what they wore and had with them, shallow maybe, but probably accurate.) It reminded me a lot of how I grew up. I always remember having a ball with my siblings and cousins. We were poor, but we were always together and we always had a good time (until someone got hurt and we got yelled at, that is.) There were so many smiles and so much laughter on that beach, that I felt totally re-energized by being there around so many people who were able to enjoy the simple things in life.

That seems to vary so much when I see children, teens and adults of those who seem to have everything (meaning mostly $$$.) There doesn't seem to be as much joy and laughter. I hope that I can remember what is truly important in life, and remember to have joy and laughter every day, not because of what I have, but because of who I'm with and because I am truly loved by my creator.

Three Things, Minus One

2009-06-05T18:55:00.007-04:00

Today was a funny day, although it's hard to say that this day stands out more than any other in NYC--something odd, funny and unusual happens every day. But three particular things stuck in my mind today.

1. When I got off the 6 train at 33rd Street, there was a pair of shoes stuck up on the gate. It struck me as quite funny, so I took out my cell phone and snapped a few pictures. That got me some strange looks from a couple of older business men, especially after I explained why I was taking the pictures, which only added to my amusement.

2. I love being on the subway when school lets out. (I also dread it at the same time because the kids are so loud and the train gets crowded fast!) I hear the funniest stuff from the kids (preteens and teenagers) when I eavesdrop on their conversations. (Okay, eavesdropping may be wrong, but it's totally unavoidable!) Today I heard a conversation between a couple of teens. One girl had her sidekick stolen. (I believe a sidekick is an mp3 player, but I may be wrong. If anyone knows for certain what it is, please feel free to school me!) And she thought she knew who took it. The young man was explaining what he would do if if someone took his--he was showing off some fighting moves--and exclaimed, "I mean you take my sidekick, that's like my wife." Funny; right? I smiled all the way as I transferred from the L to the G.

3. Okay, I know there was a third thing today that I found particularly funny, odd or unusual, but for the life of me I can't remember what it is. Am I getting so old that I'm losing my memory? Hmmm, maybe. And why didn't I just name this post 'Two Things' and not admit that I was losing my memory? I can't remember why. And now that I think about it, maybe that kid said 'life' and not 'wife.' That would make more sense. I must be losing my hearing, too!

MP3 Picture/another one

2009-05-25T17:11:00.002-04:00

I don't know why pictures are so hard for me to post, but they are. Here's a square-dancing one.

On the Town

2009-05-25T16:46:00.006-04:00

This afternoon, to wrap up Fleet Week, they showed the Oscar winning 1949 film "On the Town" starring Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra on the big screen in Times Square. I met a friend there. The movie was awesome, one I know my parents would have really liked. And there's nothing like sitting in the sun while watching a movie. Total cost: Free!

We also got to be entertained before the movie by some dancers. Total cost: Free! And Hebrew National was giving out hot dogs for, you guessed it, Free! (I went back to get a second one--free is pretty much my budget as of late.)

We even got to be interviewed by an AP Press Person for our opinion on turning the center area of Times Square into a pedestrian walkway only. (Don't bother to look for my name in any news stories, though, I really had nothing interesting to say!)

MP3 Pictures

2009-05-25T16:36:00.009-04:00

We're famous! Our napping and square dancing pictures made the cut! I'm in lime green more towards the left, and my friends are in blue and red.

Starburst Jellybeans

2009-05-24T22:33:00.004-04:00

I love Starburst Jellybeans. Even more than I love Skittles. And I consider Skittles to be my favorite candy. This year at Easter I never bought any, which is very unusual for me. And disappointing. So imagine my surprise when I was out with Kansas and James and they bought some Starburst Jellybeans they found in a Duane Reade (which is like a Rite Aid, for you Michiganians.) I thought they were only around for Easter! And I finally met someone who likes them as much as I do! Well maybe not quite as much as I do--you wouldn't see James trying to get one that was dropped on the ground and squished!

A Tree Grows on Pulaski Street

2009-05-24T22:15:00.008-04:00

After months and months of asking, my landlord's daughter got a tree planted in front of our townhome.

Without a tree. (My bedroom is the tiny window to the left--the one that looks like a tiny little slit.)

Preparations for a tree.

With the tree. It's a Dawn Redwood. Definitely an improvement; right?

MP3 Experiment 6

2009-05-23T12:17:00.002-04:00

I had quite an adventure today! And the most fun I've had in a while. I was part of the MP3 Experiment at Roosevelt Island hosted by Improv Everywhere. If you don't know about this, you must check out the 'link' below. Some of the 'events' they've held in the past include: Freeze in Grand Central Station, High Five Rob, No Pants Day, to name a few.

Today we had to all meet at R.I. and wear either a green, blue, yellow, or red t-shirt. And that's all you know. I had to download instructions onto my ipod, and really, expect anything. I just had to follow what the MP3 player said to do. And so, the hilarity begins, lasting 47 minutes. Highlights include square dancing, napping, freeze tag, Simon Says, ending with a fight of the green & blues vs the reds & yellows with blow up hammers and bats.

Don't know how long it will take for them to post the tape, but I think it'll be worth watching! (And if you happen to want to look for me, I'm in lime green!)

http://improveverywhere.com/
(Sorry, I can't remember how to do links!)

Fleet Week

2009-05-23T11:40:00.004-04:00

This week is Fleet Week in NYC. For those of you who don't know, or who haven't watched SITC (Sex in the City), a whole bunch of sailors and marines descend on NYC for the weekend. There are displays and all kinds of activities on the Pier.

So far the only thing I've seen is a bunch of 12 year old looking young men in uniforms, drinking, puking and trying to get lucky while a bunch of young girls dressed scantily flirt with them. (I somehow thought it would be a little more exciting, or at least not so trashy, damn you SITC!)

I did have a little bit of fun while I was out with Kansas and James, but you'll have to wait for the pictures!

False Alarm

2009-05-23T11:35:00.002-04:00

It was a false alarm. We do NOT have bed bugs! None of us have been bit, nor have we found any signs of the little critters, alive or dead. I can now go back to living normally--if how I was living is what you consider normal!

Looking at a Rat

2009-05-21T00:05:00.002-04:00

Tonight as I was coming home from small group, I stepped onto the platform and waited for the G train. And waited. There was some type of alarm going off--sounded like an alarm that would go off if you went out an emergency exit only door--but much louder. It didn't stop.

Then I remembered that my son got me an ipod nano for mother's day. Since I was previously on the train with friends, I didn't think to use it. But the annoying alarm sound helped me to remember. I promptly put it in my ears and was swept away with Coldplay.

As I continued to wait for the G (seriously 6 A/C trains came and left before the G arrived!) and enjoy my music, I played my favorite platform-waiting game that I like to call "What can I find on the tracks?" And one of my favorite things was on the track, a rat. As I stood looking at the rat, I broke out into a smile, and then it hit me. My life is interesting. In a way I never would have imagined. I am happy.

Church in Central Park

2009-05-15T10:33:00.002-04:00

Here is a picture of our last church meeting. We've started gathering at alternate locations on the second Sunday of every month. Don't you wish your church looked like this?

Preparations

2009-05-13T14:17:00.004-04:00

Ok, here is what needs to be done when you prepare to spray for bedbugs. I won't write it all down, but I'm sure you'll get the idea.

Empty all drawers in bedroom. All bedding off the bed. Bed frames dismantled. All clothes to be washed/dried or dry cleaned and put into a sealed plastic bag. (For 4 weeks after treatment.) All bedding, sheets, blankets, drapes to be washed/dried or dry cleaned and put into a sealed plastic bag. (For 4 weeks.) All shoes in a sealed plastic bag. All art removed from walls. All items in bedroom to be packed (still not sure how.) Vacuum everything! (walls, baseboards, floors, etc.) Put vacuum bag in plastic, seal and throw away. Repeat vacuuming frequently for 4-6 weeks after extermination.

Are you getting the picture? What a nightmare! When I told a friend today about 'the bedbug situation' he stuck out his hand, shook my hand, and stated, "Welcome to New York." Welcome to New York indeed!

Good Night, Sleep Tight...

2009-05-13T13:06:00.000-04:00

And Don't Let the Bedbugs Bite. Remember the little nursery rhyme? Well, I used to think it was a cute little saying. Not Anymore!! See this little critter pictured? Yep, he's a bedbug. And it's not cute. It's real, and in New York, there is a serious epidemic of them. There are stories printed about how serious the epidemic is. And there are some really gross ads on the subway which I just try to ignore. But not anymore.

Why, you ask? Well, because now they are a reality for me. Seems my little apartment has tenants who aren't paying their share of the rent! Short story: one was found in our bathroom; landlord was called; preparations are being taken (I'll write more on that later--you won't believe what you have to do!); on Monday the exterminator comes and will spray the little bastards to what I hope is their untimely death!

Oswald Chambers

2009-05-13T12:51:00.002-04:00

What can I say? I love my daily devotional, My Utmost for his Highest, by Oswald Chambers. So many times it hits me exactly where I need to be hit. And sometimes it speaks into something I have really been struggling with. Today was one of those readings.

The Habit of Keeping a Clear Conscience
"...strive to have a conscience without offense toward God and men" (Acts 24:16).

God's commands to us are actually given to the life of His Son in us. Consequently, to our human nature in which God's Son has been formed (see Galatians 4:19), His commands are difficult. But they become divinely easy once we obey.

Conscience is that ability within me that attaches itself to the highest standard I know, and then continually reminds me of what that standard demands that I do. It is the eye of the soul which looks out either toward God or toward what we regard as the highest standard. This explains why conscience is different in different people. If I am in the habit of continually holding God's standard in front of me, my conscience will always direct me to God's perfect law and indicate what I should do. The questions is, will I obey? I have to make an effort to keep my conscience so sensitive that I can live without any offense toward anyone. I should be living in such perfect harmony with God's Son that the spirit of my mind is being renewed through every circumstance of life, and that I may be able to quickly "prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God" (Romans 12:2; also see Ephesians 4:23).

God always instructs us down to the last detail. Is my ear sensitive enough to hear even the softest whisper of the Spirit, so that I know what I should do? "Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God..." (Ephesians 4:30). He does not speak with a voice like thunder-His voice is so gentle that it is easy for us to ignore. And the only thing that keeps our conscience sensitive to Him is the habit of being open to God on the inside. When you begin to debate, stop immediately. Don't ask, "Why can't I do this?" You are on the wrong track. There is no debating possible once your conscience speaks. Whatever it is-drop it, and see that you keep your inner vision clear.

This is one I may need to re-read daily. Or at least until I stop struggling. Which I guess means I'll have to read it forever!

Job

2009-05-13T09:30:00.000-04:00

I am now the new Court Advocate in the Bronx for TFS! I start on Monday, part time until June 11th, when it becomes full time.

Ugh! Gross!

2009-05-12T20:45:00.003-04:00

Came across this disgusting slide show and felt compelled to share!
Warning: Do not view before eating, unless you're trying to diet!

http://www.medicinenet.com/skin_problems_pictures_slideshow/article.htm

Hiatus (feeling blue)

2009-05-12T20:02:00.006-04:00

I haven't posted since I got back from Michigan. Truth be told, I've been in a bit of a funk lately. Seems like there hasn't been an aspect of my life that has been going quite right. (job, housing, friends, men, dating) I was hoping that a trip 'back home' would rejuvenate me. In a way, it did. And in a way, it didn't.

The good thing is that I have been in this place before. I know I'm not stuck here. I know that if I start showing some gratitude for what I do have, I'll feel a little better. And if I talk to people who care about me, they will help me to carry my burdens.

I spent a lot of my life focusing on the negative and I really have to make a conscious effort to be positive. Times like this, it is harder to do. But I am going to make the choice to be positive, show gratitude, and thank God for what he has done in my life and for my life.

I'm leaving...

2009-05-05T07:00:00.003-04:00

on a jet plane--to Detroit to visit my son (and some friends and family--wish I could see them all!) I'll be staying with Joshua and I'm bringing some dirty laundry with me! (After all, he has a washer/dryer in his apartment, for crying out loud!)

Just What the Doctor Ordered

2009-05-02T20:40:00.005-04:00

In the past 24 hours, I feel like I have been rejuvenated. I have been poured into by my community here in NYC. And it was exactly what I needed.

Met up with my favorite principal in Midtown, and we traveled to the Upper West Side (about 40 blocks too far--what I get when I let a tourist lead me!--a total of 80 blocks round trip out of our way) to have dinner with my favorite UWS couple. It was my first adult dinner party (not actually a party, I just think dinner party sounds better than simply saying dinner!) since I've been to NYC. There was wine, a fabulous home-cooked meal, and excellent conversation. An evening with three people I trust with my struggles and my secrets. People I can trust to help me see what I cannot see when I'm stuck. Followed by an invitation to spend the night, which I happily accepted.

Then after a quiet, restful night's sleep, a quiet morning drinking coffee and chatting, it was time for the ladies in my church to come over for our monthly women's bible study. (Really, it so reminded me of being back in my house in Rochester Hills, the quiet, peaceful way I used to be able to greet my Saturdays--so unlike Bed-Stuy, where I now live.) To be able to spend 2 hours or so sharing, bonding, and praying with the women in my life.

Yep, spending time in community. Just what the doctor ordered.

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 5:16, 19-20 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.

I am a Quitter

2009-05-01T23:54:00.000-04:00

Don't know what has been brewing inside of me lately, but yesterday I did something uncharacteristic, although it is not the first time I felt like doing it. I quit my job at Trader Joe's. In the middle of a shift. What put me to this point? Pride, I guess.

I found out that several of the people that started with me were making $.25-$.50 more an hour. Were they more qualified? I don't think so. Do they have more responsibility? No. Don't know why, but it really started to bother me. Never mind that I'm making the salary of a 12 year old (which I could actually survive on, which is, of course, another story in itself!), but to then find out that 8 year olds are making more, it just didn't sit well with me. I'm still bothered.

But the worst part is that it really was a nice place to work, and I still believe it's an excellent company--worthy of the #2 Grocery Chain in America ranking it just received. I should have given notice and waited until I had another job before quitting. Definitely more adult. More responsible. But I didn't. And now, I wonder, how will I continue to shop there? Will they even want my business? Ahh, I guess that is when swallowing the pride comes into play--I'm definitely experienced with that!

When I get back from Detroit next week (can't wait! first time I'll be back since I moved--I'm not counting the 3 days I spent in December going through all my stuff in storage and packing, loading, repacking and moving!), my intention is to look seriously for a job I'm qualified for (not overqualified for) and something I believe in. I'm, of course, hoping that TFS comes through, but if it doesn't, I can't wait for them.

When I talked to my friend later in the evening, he mentioned I sounded defeated. Which really got me thinking. That is not a word I would have used myself, but it totally fits. I am feeling defeated. I can't help but on many occasions, especially of late, to raise my hands to God and say "really? this is where I'm at? doing this? really?" not understanding or knowing why or how or if he is using me for the kingdom. I'm feeling discouraged to think that I don't know how I'm being used or where I'm headed. I definitely don't feel up to the task. All I know is that I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, and I'm uncertain as to whether or not I'm going to step off.

On a happy note, one of the things I definitely won't miss is the amount of butt cleavage I saw at TJ's! I mean really, it's understandable when you're bending over stocking shelves, etc. (understandable but still not desirable!) but when you're standing up straight and you've got 2+" showing---I will NOT miss that!

Street Findings

2009-05-01T11:23:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I come across something weird or funny on the streets of NYC and have decided to start sharing them. (I may even start a new blog just for this kind of thing--who knows?)

A braided piece of hair found on Smith Street. Gross; right?

A gumball machine at the laundromat I go to. What, no gum? That's right, it's Bling Teeth!

Another Decision Made

2009-04-30T21:14:00.006-04:00

Just to keep everybody updated, right after I decided that the admin job would suit me best, I was told the next day that it was given to someone else in the agency. Which still leaves me up for the position I really want, Court Advocate.

There does, however, seem to be some issues with hiring. They wanted to start me training two days a week (paid at least) and see how it goes. I took the stance that I should either be hired full time or not, and none of this 'see how it goes' business. I know the person who currently holds the position isn't leaving for a bit and they probably don't want to pay two salaries, but I also don't want to feel like I'm being taken advantage of. (Which I have felt, as of late.) I would even be willing to start in a month or so, if that would help (of course, at this point, I'd have to have something in writing from them.) But I guess it's up to them now.

Don't know why I still have such a heart and a passion to work there, but I do.

Deminski & Doyle

2009-04-27T14:25:00.003-04:00

My favorite talk radio guys in Detroit are back in Detroit on a new station! 94.7 They used to be an afternoon talk show I listened to almost religiously, although I'm not sure if I should admit it. (They can be a little, how should I say it, riske? Definitely more males from 20-40 make up their base audience. Not sure what that says about me???) Anyway they briefly switched to mornings, and I never did get hooked--I liked the afternoon slot better.

But then, the station switched to sports, and my 'guys' were gone, for what I thought was forever. But no, now I'm the one that's gone and they're back! So anyone in the Detroit area listen to D & D and tell me what you think. And let me know if Beaver and Rudy are still with them.

A Decision Made

2009-04-27T13:24:00.002-04:00

For what's worth, I've decided to let TFS know that I am interested in the Administrative Assistant job. I think what really tipped the scales was that this would be a more comfortable position that would start sooner with a much easier commute. As well as working at the same location with the same people I've got to know over the last five months of volunteering. Not that I'm not looking for a challenge, but I could use something in my life right now that's not such hard work! (Now, of course, I'm doubting my choice.)

I was told that they would get back to me next week. Which is when I'll be in Detroit to visit my baby. And when I have two back-to-back 5pm - 1am shifts at TJ's. (One of which I can't make because I'll actually be in Detroit--didn't take off the right days. So I'm sure TJ's will be happy when I let them know that!) I was hoping for something more immediate. Like maybe I could have started the end of this week so I could train with the person who currently has the job. (Her last day will be when I'm in Detroit.)

Hmmm, maybe I need to learn some patience?

Job Offers

2009-04-24T11:24:00.002-04:00

Yes, I said offers, not offer. I was offered another position at TFS. The first is as a Court Advocate which I wrote about in a previous post. The new job is as an Administrative Assistant in Long Island City (where I currently work in Queens.) Both jobs have similar pay, and both have pluses and minuses.

So how do I decide? I've started making a + and - list. I've prayed about it, and thought about it. But still not ready to make a decision. If I've learned anything, it's that I shouldn't make a decision until I feel calm and at peace with it. And I don't feel either now. So any extra prayers for discernment would be very welcomed!

The good thing is, I don't think I'll be stocking grocery shelves for the rest of my life!

Shooting

2009-04-19T00:20:00.005-04:00

As I was sitting in my room tonight, relaxing after a long day at work and a trip to the Bronx to visit a friend, I was getting started on a new blog post. I was going to write about the most amazing thing I discovered today--the ice cream trucks in NY have soft serve ice cream in a cone!!!

It is very warm in my room (in the 70's today) so I opened my window. (Always a hard decision because of the noise, and when I was walking home I noted that my neighbors down the street were throwing a party.) But since I bought some foam ear plugs, I wasn't worried.

Then I heard a pop. A gunshot. And someone in the house directly across the street from me was shot. Not seriously. There was talk amongst the people outside, but no overt reactions. No one screaming. No one crying. Not much of anything. I saw a woman call for the ambulance on her cell phone. I waited. [picture taken from my bedroom window.]

About ten minutes or so later, a police car and an ambulance arrived. Then several more police cars. For about twenty minutes my street was lit up with flashing lights. Then the ambulance left. And the police cars. The party down the street is still going on.

Protest

2009-04-18T00:10:00.005-04:00

One of the things I love most about this city is that there is always somebody doing something worth watching. Sometimes I'm entertained, if only mildly, and sometimes it's really not worth watching, but I am often surprised with the thought that this would never happen in MI.

Today on my lunch break, I saw this poster: So many people are really upset with the proposed increases to the subway fares. And with a 20% or so increase, it's no wonder. And when you rely on public transportation, there's not much you can do--you're stuck with paying what they charge. So I found the poster funny.

When I was coming back from lunch, I saw a little protest across the street from TJ's. There was a woman with a bullhorn, a couple of people holding signs, and most importantly, what there always is during these protests, a bunch of people walking right past them totally ignoring them!

Central Park

2009-04-17T10:20:00.003-04:00

I wanted to add this picture of the Sonrise Service in Central Park. I don't think this picture can describe how beautiful it was. The day started dark and grey (of course, it was really early!) and as the service progressed the sun rose over the horizon, bathing us in a (almost) warm sunlight.

Even though this picture was taken only 5 days ago, I seem to have forgotten the glorious day I spent with my NY "family" the day my Savior rose for me. Posting this picture is a good reminder for me.

Now I'm off to hopefully find a friend who will hang out with me before I have to be to work at 3pm!

A Day in Court

2009-04-13T19:45:00.003-04:00

Today I spent the day in the Bronx court shadowing Emma, the Court Advocate who works there. (She's fantastic!) TFS, my volunteer/temp job gig, has an opening for another Court Advocate, and I'm in the process of interviewing for that position.

To sum it up briefly, the CA screens and interviews potential clients who would benefit from our program as opposed to going to jail. Then it would be my job to get the attorney, DA and judge to agree.

I must say, I loved every minute of the day. There was lots of waiting, a video conference, meetings with clients and families, standing before the judge and more! This will be an incredibly challenging job, and there's so much to learn, and I'm so excited with the possibility that it could be my job.

What I thought would be the deal breaker was the commute. It's about 1 hour and 15 minutes one way. But as I rode out there this morning and back again this evening, I couldn't help but to think that it is a very nice commute. One bus to one express train, neither of which is very crowded--smooth.

Now all I have to do is get them to offer the job to me!