Exhaustion

So, what's the one thing that will get me every time? Sleep Deprivation. When I was younger I often worked either two jobs, or evenings. Didn't seem to affect me too much. Now, I just can't do it.

My Trader Joe's schedule is never the same. In a given week I can work days, afternoons and evenings--and a morning shift can follow an evening shift so you're lucky to get enough time to sleep in between. Now that they've been paying me at TFS, I've been working every day and sometimes doing doubles (day at TFS and the evening at TJ's.)

Well, it finally caught up to me yesterday. I went into TJ's for my early afternoon shift exhausted. I worked for one hour and I could feel myself just holding back the tears. I started thinking about how I'm working so hard to make $60 in a day (yes, in a DAY.) I'm not happy living with my roommates (they are messy!) My poor body has bruises and every muscle is sore (it's very physical work.) So I decided to tell my manager that my availability has changed--I'm no longer available.

She talked to me for a few minutes (she's really very nice) and I explained that I don't expect her to change things for me, but I can't continue to have my shifts all over the board--I need to have more of a set schedule. Then I started to cry (hey, it's what I do when I'm exhausted, I just usually try to not do it in front of people.) She told me to go home, get some sleep and I'll see her tomorrow and we can talk further.

I took her advice. I took a three hour nap yesterday, was up for a few hours having dinner, and went back to bed. I must say, I do feel more rested. (Still sore, though!) So now I'm getting ready to go in for my shift today, feeling a little embarrassed, and still not sure if she can do anything for me or if I should continue to work there. I guess I'll go and see what happens.