Extended Contract

They keep extending my 'contract' at TFS. I am now probably working until the end of April (if I can get Trader Joe's to agree.) I am really happy to oblige them, and not just because I'm getting paid. (Although, I wouldn't be working two jobs, and working every day without any days off if I wasn't making some extra dough.)

I am really enjoying my hours spent there. I continue to learn every day, and I'm hoping to come up with a training manual for my replacement before I leave. (Nice of me; isn't it?) And I love the people there. It's a good organization.

And in two weeks I'm going to spend a couple of days in the courthouse in the Bronx. (Not getting paid.) I've applied for the Court Advocate position, and this is a way for both of us to see if it's a good fit. It sounds like something I want to do and that I'd be good at. The only drawback I can see for now is a killer commute. (1 hour 15 minutes each way per hopstop.) And it would be a two year commitment.

But I'm not going to worry about something that may not ever be. Actually, I'm not going to worry at all. If it is in God's will for me to work there, it'll happen, and if not, not.

Uninvited Guests

Be careful what you ask for, you may get it. This is a repeating lesson in my life. I must admit, God knows just how to get me to be grateful for what I have!

So I finally got some much needed alone time. It was a nice little vacation. There was TV. There was no mess not made by me. Everything remained neat, tidy and in it's place. There were bugs and roaches. Wait, I didn't wish for that!

So now I have a new appreciation for where I live. We are bug and rodent free! I suppose now I can be more tolerant of what I do have where I live because I'm grateful for what I don't have!

Ahh, Home Sweet Home!

Sleeping Alone?

After sleeping in a twin bed all by myself since I moved to NY, yesterday I spent the night on a QUEEN-SIZED MATTRESS, and not alone. Skyler the dog and Schug the cat joined me sometime in the night. They are the most snuggly animals! I really lucked out getting to watch these pets. None of the nonsense of the Brooklyn chicken-bone-eating dog! (Although I never imagined that the next time I didn’t sleep alone, it’d be with a pet!)

Calling Out Sick

Yesterday and today I have had such terrible sinuses, that I called out sick from TJ’s. That’s right; I called out sick, not called in sick. That’s what they say in NY, out not in. Weird; huh?

On Vacation

I’m on a 5 day vacation. Not from my work, but from my home. I’m in the hilly area of the Upper West Side. Not sure if I’m in Harlem (Spanish Harlem) or the Bronx. I’m apartment sitting, and dog and cat watching, for a couple from my church. I must say, I’m in heaven. I am all alone, which is the first time I’ve been alone since I moved out of my house in July, and the best part is: THEY HAVE CABLE!

No dirty dishes in the sink (unless I left them there), in fact, no messes at all; if I put something in the fridge, it’s there until I take it out! Ahh, and so much more! I think I’ll try to vacation more often.

On the G Train

I knew it was going to be an interesting trip to the Upper West Side by the way it started. When stepping onto the platform at the Bedford/Nostrand stop (My stop), I saw a Gerber Daisy taped to a paper sign for Cassie P. How sweet is that!



When sitting on the bench waiting for the train, a woman approached me and asked me if I would watch her bag while she jumped down into the tracks to get a piece of paper she dropped. (In order for me to jump down there, it would not have to be a paper I dropped; it would have to be a child who fell that I needed to rescue!)

So she jumps down and couldn’t get back up. I go to her and offer her my hand, (which, of course, is useless, I wouldn’t be able to lift her) when a man steps in and lifts her up. She is safe and has retrieved her very important paper. The man who lifts her up hits her up for a dollar—she gladly gives it to him. Then another man starts talking to her, and they talk until the train comes, and then for several more stops. I think he gets her number.

As for me, I return to the bench, along with 3 other women in their late 30’s to 50’s. We talk about how none of us would have jumped down to the tracks, although two women admit that they have done it themselves in the past when they were young. The talk turns to the neighborhood, child rearing, and how things have changed.

I continue my conversation with one of the women that lasts through several stops and a transfer. I have made a friend in the neighborhood. The young lady who jumped down in the tracks isn’t the only one who exchanged phone numbers yesterday afternoon.

The Look of Friendship

I am an incredibly blessed person. I am blessed with true friendship, and I was reminded of that again tonight in church.

This week was tough for me. I expressed this to my friends and have been encouraged by them. But tonight I received something special.

During our small group prayer time, we were sharing our prayer requests. I stated one request and then glanced at my friend, Jennifer. I didn't speak. (I don't think I could have without crying.) She didn't speak. But we did look at each. In that look was love, understanding, empathy, support. All in a look. She knew what was on my heart. And when we were done sharing and started praying, she prayed for exactly what I needed.

It is hard to believe that there was a time in my past where I could not allow myself to be vulnerable with anyone. I was too afraid of being hurt. Now, I may still get hurt from time to time, but I am also able to experience comfort like I never thought possible. Being vulnerable is definitely worth the risk. Thank you God, for my friends and my community!

Spring

Pussy willows (my favorite) are in season and I bought a new floral dress. Can only mean one thing: SPRING IS FINALLY HERE! Of course it snowed yesterday (the first official day of spring) but I'm sure I'll be wearing flip flops any day now:)

Transparent, Honest and Authentic

So I've decided, or realized, something about myself, something that I like very much about me. And that is the fact that I'm able to be transparent, honest and authentic. You don't have to guess what I'm really thinking--it's right there on my face. I don't have to remember what I told one person, and did I tell the other person something different? I'm simply honest. I don't feel out of place in my own skin, nor do I try to be something I'm not. I'm just authentic. Ahh, if only everyone in my life could be this way!

And what got me thinking about this? After almost two months of dating someone, I discovered he's dating someone else, too. When I last saw him, he mentioned going to a movie recently. I thought about it after I got home (denial is still my first reaction--at least I don't stay there long!) and sent an email asking him how many women he's dating. I got my answer: two. And a quirky little comment about he's assuming there will be questioning later. Weird. Two days later and I haven't heard anything from him. Nothing.

So now I'm a little sad (much less sad today than I was yesterday), but mostly I feel sorry for him. It must be hard to live a lie. I'd rather be healthy and alone. So I'm going to focus on being grateful. Grateful for the growth I've experienced this last decade; grateful for knowing that I deserve to be treated much better; grateful for the friends I have who care about me; grateful especially for the knowledge that no person can fill me up, but that I have a God who can. And does.

Jobs, Vocations & Volunteering

So I didn't get the full time position at TFS. They decided to give it to someone who has been with the organization for five years. But who knows what will come of it? I have been able to step in and give them a hand when they really needed it, and I know they have really appreciated my help. I know that I should be able to have the temp job until the end of the month. So that's some extra money. (Well not really extra, but more.) And I have been told of another job that may actually suit me better (working directly in the courts) and I have expressed interest in that position.

Or maybe I'll get accepted in school and be able to be a full time student in the fall. TJ's would then be a great job to have--more flexibility with scheduling. I do not know what the future holds.

And I'm still willing to volunteer at TFS because I believe in the work they do and I have a heart for the people who are served there. And it's not all about me anyway; right? I have every belief that God will provide for my needs--my wants and desires are entirely something else, but my needs are always met. So if that means I continue to work at Trader Joe's and volunteer at TFS, then that sounds pretty good to me.

Roosters

One thing that happened on my retreat that would never happen in NYC (although I should learn by now to never say never!) and that is nearly being attacked by roosters!

I skipped breakfast on Saturday morning, thought more sleep would prove to be in my best interest, so I was walking to the meeting room eating almonds and cranberries (a staple for me to carry around since moving to NY--you never really know if you'll get stuck somewhere and miss a meal) out of a ziplock bag.

All of a sudden these two roosters and their two friends (one may have been a hen, but I don't know for sure. After all, I'm, if not a city, then for sure a suburb girl and wouldn't know the difference! In fact, someone had to tell me they were roosters; alls that came to my mind was farm animals) started coming at me. It was a little frightening. At least until I remembered I am much bigger than they were and could easily kick them. (Which I didn't...but later that day I did see superstar kick one.)

Here they are. Ferocious looking; right?

Communitas Retreat

This weekend marked the first time I left the city since I moved here. (I am not counting the three days I spent in early December going through all my boxes in storage, unloading my van, reloading my van and repacking everything back in storage--definitely not a weekend getaway!) Just being away from the pace of NYC, the noise, the trains in itself was a treat. But there was so much more.

I went to Pennsylvania on a church retreat. (Check out the pictures of the main house and the view.) It was awesome! I can't believe how much closer I feel to my fellow teammates. Funny how a couple of days relaxing and playing games (volleyball, ultimate frisbee, euchre, apples to apples, etc.) can bring you closer. Oh, and I got to climb a tree! (No gear, just free climbing, but I loved it!)

We also had some great worship leaders--a couple who joined our church just three weeks ago--who led us with some great songs and a fun game (I will never forget Man, Gun, Gorilla!) I've been really missing New Community and worship music and this totally filled a void.

And, of course, there was teaching. We spent time together and alone learning and searching for what our idols are. Any time we put something on the pedestal instead of God, Satan gets a stronghold. And I have mine. And Satan knows. And he uses it to put distance between me and Jesus. So again I'm putting things into perspective, knocking down my idol, and putting Jesus back on top of my pedestal.

Volunteer Job

Yes, it does say job in my post, as in I'm not just volunteering, but I'll be getting paid for what I do at TFS! Starting tomorrow, I'm a temporary employee working two days a week.

Ahh, Springtime on Pulaski Street

Although it's still officially winter, the weather has definitely been springlike the last few days. It's been pretty sunny and somewhere in the 60's. It's now 10:16pm on Sunday evening, and the temperature is 52 degrees. Nice, right? Not really, and I'll tell you why.

It is incredibly loud outside! Not only can I hear conversations, (there must be 10 people outside hanging out), there is some incredibly loud music (the bass is pounding.) Sprinkle in some occasional horn honking, and I feel like I'm in a college dorm on a Friday night.

The worse part is not that it's hard to fall asleep, or stay asleep for that matter, it's that I am feeling some anxiety as to what it will be like when it is actually summer!

Baby Toys

I loathe the laundromat. But that's not what this post is about, really, it's about what I saw at the laundromat. I didn't think it was even possible, but I met two of the women for whom "This is NOT a toy. Do not give to babies to play with" is written on plastic bags for.

I went up to them 2 or 3 times, removed the plastic (a dry cleaning bag) from the toddler's mouth, she was sucking on it, and told them it was dangerous for the baby to have plastic. I don't think they spoke English, only Spanish, which is the only way I can explain why they kept allowing the child to play with it. I then spoke to another worker there who was bilingual and told him. He stated he already told them.

So, here in NY I am meeting people whom I believed to be myths only. First, people who think plastic is a baby toy--next, who knows, I may actually meet the tooth fairy!