Transparent, Honest and Authentic

So I've decided, or realized, something about myself, something that I like very much about me. And that is the fact that I'm able to be transparent, honest and authentic. You don't have to guess what I'm really thinking--it's right there on my face. I don't have to remember what I told one person, and did I tell the other person something different? I'm simply honest. I don't feel out of place in my own skin, nor do I try to be something I'm not. I'm just authentic. Ahh, if only everyone in my life could be this way!

And what got me thinking about this? After almost two months of dating someone, I discovered he's dating someone else, too. When I last saw him, he mentioned going to a movie recently. I thought about it after I got home (denial is still my first reaction--at least I don't stay there long!) and sent an email asking him how many women he's dating. I got my answer: two. And a quirky little comment about he's assuming there will be questioning later. Weird. Two days later and I haven't heard anything from him. Nothing.

So now I'm a little sad (much less sad today than I was yesterday), but mostly I feel sorry for him. It must be hard to live a lie. I'd rather be healthy and alone. So I'm going to focus on being grateful. Grateful for the growth I've experienced this last decade; grateful for knowing that I deserve to be treated much better; grateful for the friends I have who care about me; grateful especially for the knowledge that no person can fill me up, but that I have a God who can. And does.