Giving Up Your Seat

I am a woman in my mid-forties. I understand I look much younger...much. But I still know that I look like a woman. So I am sometimes (and by sometimes I mean often) perplexed how I can get on a train with a dozen men seated and not one will offer me their seat. And I know that they see me. How do I know? Because none of them make eye contact! They become so engrossed in what they are reading, or just looking down at the floor, it's almost funny. In fact, I try to stare at them just to see if they'll look back. They never do.

And I just know they feel a little bit guilty, which is why they won't make eye contact. How do I know this? Because I'm a mom and when my son was 4, he'd do the same thing. You know, you're not doing anything wrong if no one 'sees' you.

Now I know many think that it is not fair that men should automatically give up their seats to women. And I can understand that (even though I don't agree.) But what I don't get is the not owning up to the fact that you're not giving up your seat when you feel that you should.

So here's my challenge: Men, look me in the eye as you sit and I stand. Be proud of the fact that you were either on the train before me or you're faster than me and beat me to the seat! Own it! And when you can't own it and stare at your book or the floor so you don't have to see me, know that I am extending grace to you, and not just because there have been times when I have done the exact same thing myself, she said, embarrassed. For the record, I never could look my mother in the eye if I did or was planning on doing something that wasn't right either, and I can't look fellow passengers who may be older and are standing in the eye as I am seated.