Insecurity

My day started like many of my days lately. I awoke before my alarm went off, feeling tired and not wanting to get out of bed. But I did something different: I got up without hitting my snooze. I had time to make my lunch and do my hair. And I did something else different and new: I went to a Bible church in Inwood (The upper tip of Manhattan) to watch a simulcast of Beth Moore with a couple of friends.

The simulcast focused on Beth Moore's new book, So Long Insecurity, you've been a bad friend to us. This is the first Beth Moore book I have read. (Well, mostly read...do to the situation, I still have about a quarter of the book to finish.) The first time I've heard her speak too. And I must say, I would watch her again and again! God is absolutely using her to reach women!



I have struggled with insecurity my whole life. It has affected so many decisions I have made (and so many more that I haven't made) than I even care to think about. So many of my thoughts and beliefs have been with me for so long, that I don't even recognize that they are NOT true. I believe them all the same. Since making a choice and deciding to follow Christ, my security should be found only in Him. And that is a true, biblical statement. But still I struggle with believing that truth.

So what did I learn today that will help me break this pattern of insecurity? That nothing can hold us back like if we don't believe that we're forgiven. And I don't, at least not always. That this battle is won in our minds. And we can take our thoughts captive to Christ and be triumphant. That we can not wait until we feel secure to act. We must take that step, do something different, ask ourselves 'how would a secure woman respond?'

But the thing that hit me the most was to put off my old self and put on my new self. (Read Ephesians 4:1 - 5:2.) It's a choice. And I can give myself permission to do things differently. I can freely say, "That was the old me, this is the new me." (Even if the old me was yesterday.) I can change. I can allow God to change me.

So my hope is that from here on out, all my days will start differently. They will start with me putting off my old self and putting on my new self. And that I do that until it becomes habit. And maybe someone will notice that difference and make a change for themselves.